we make love (and love falls apart)

13. Tender

Camila is curled up in bed, sniffling into her pillow, because she can't get Lauren's words out of her head. It's just weird. I don't like girls. She can't make the older girl's words stop and it's slowly driving her insane.

She hasn't spoken to Lauren properly in three days. Obviously Lauren tries to talk to her, but Camila doesn't let her. She always thinks of a decent excuse to leave, because distancing herself will help her get rid of her crush, and that's her goal.

When her bedroom door opens, she thinks nothing of it. It's probably just Dinah checking to see if she's still awake. Not wanting to be disturbed, Camila keeps her eyes shut and hopes that whoever it is will go away, because she'd much rather be alone right now.

Naturally, footsteps come closer, and she hears a little shuffling around, and then the bed sinks under added weight. Arms wrap around her waist, and she feels a tender touch against her cheek.

"Wake up," When she hears the familiar raspy voice, she nearly has a heart attack, "Camz. Wake up."

Pretending as though she'd just woken up, Camila opens her eyes and yawns, before realising that Lauren's effectively got her trapped.

"Hey," the younger Latina murmurs, "what're you doing here?"

"Milking a cow." Lauren replies. "What does it look like? I'm cuddling you."

She should push her away. Camila knows that this is incredibly had for her plan. Cuddling with your crush is definitely on the list of do not do under any circumstances. But she can't help herself.

"Why are you cuddling me?"

"Because I miss you," Lauren says, "you've been avoiding me and I want to know why. Did I do something to upset you?"

Camila shrugs. "Not intentionally."

"So that's a yes," Lauren is quick to reply. "Come on. Tell me how I can fix it. What did I do?"

"You- um... I get that you don't like it." Camila starts. "The Camren thing, I mean. But... I, well I don't like it, but it makes me feel... it makes me feel accepted."

Lauren frowns. "I can't say I get what you mean."

"I just-" Camila bites back the fear in the pit of her stomach, because this is going to come out sooner or later, "I like girls. Romantically. I'm not sure if I like boys too. But I definitely like girls."

"Oh," Camila feels her heart soar when Lauren seems to pull her closer. "I didn't- why didn't you tell me? You know I'd never- Camz, I love you. You're one of my best friends. Why didn't you feel like you could tell me about this?"

"Because you always seemed so put off by everything," Camila says, "like... the Camren thing. You'd act really weird about it and... I didn't want to make you hate me."

"You can't help who you like," Lauren easily replies, "love is love, Camz. I didn't- I wasn't upset by the whole Camren thing because of that. It was more like... I don't like girls. And I don't like it when people try to force labels onto others."

While the reiteration of Lauren's heterosexuality is kind of a downer, Camila feels a lot better than she has all week. "Yeah. Thanks for getting it, Lo."

"No worries, Camzi," Lauren smiles, "you know you can always talk to me, right?"

"Yeah," Camila smiles, and for the first time in forever, she feels happy and confident, "I know."

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