we make love (and love falls apart)

18. Awkwardness

They haven't spoken properly in two weeks.

Lauren is avoiding Camila at every possible opportunity, and Camila is sort of heartbroken because of it. She misses her interactions with Lauren, no matter how platonic they were. She misses cuddling up to her on the couch as they watch some Disney movies with the other girls.

She misses their friendship.

So, when she's in the back room in the bus, sat in the same spot she saw Lauren kissing Lucy in, she's more than a little shocked when Lauren walks in and closes the door behind her.

For a moment, they stare at each other, Lauren trying to find words and Camila filled with anticipation and worry and the tiniest sliver of hope.

Then, something seems to click with Lauren, and the older Latina lets out a long sigh, running a hand through her hair; one of her known nervous ticks. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Camila quietly replies, "but that's kind of your fault in the first place. You're the one who's avoiding me."

"I'm not avoiding you," Lauren catches the sarcastic response on the tip of Camila's tongue before it comes out. "Okay, fine, maybe I'm avoiding you. But I'm not anymore."

Camila raises an eyebrow. "Aren't we going to talk about what-"

"There's nothing to talk about," Lauren cuts in, "I just want things to go back to how they were. With us being best friends. Sisters."

Camila wants to scoff, because the last thing she sees Lauren as is a sister. But, the last thing she wants to do is lose Lauren completely. "Okay."

The relieved smile on Lauren's face almost makes Camila feel okay about giving in that easily. "Thank you."

"It's... it's okay," Camila says, biting down on her bottom lip nervously. She has no idea how to keep talking to her and everything is a little too awkward for Camila's liking.

After a moment of silence, Lauren speaks up again. "The girls and I were thinking about watching a movie. There's half a Disney princess blanket and my shoulder with your name on it if you want to join."

Finally, Camila cracks a real smile, because cuddling with Lauren is her favourite pastime. "I'm in."

"Awesome," Lauren holds out a hand and pulls her up from the couch in the back room, pulling her through the bunks and towards the other girls at the front of the bus. "I really did miss you, Camz."

"Should've talked to me sooner, then," Camila mutters, and she knows Lauren hears it. "I'm not mad at you. Promise."

"Good," Lauren pulls her onto the couch next to Dinah and puts the blanket over the two of them. Camila nearly has a heart attack when the older Latina links their fingers together under the blanket. "I love you, Camz. It'd suck if you were mad."

Camila can't help but wish those words were said in a different context, but she knows that's never going to happen. With Lauren, the most she'll ever get is friendship, and slowly but surely, she can make herself okay with that.

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