Book Reviews! (CLOSED)

Summon (HAUNTED #1)

Novel by GeliFV
Genre: Fantasy

Cover: The cover fits the story very well, it's simple, but eye catching. The only thing that isn't so good is the font you used for your title, it looks too messy and takes away that beauty from the cover.

Summary: It's too long. Summaries should be short (not too short) and to the point that way readers can be easier intrigued with the story. They want to read a quick blurb that will catch their attention. When I began to read your description I had to stop a few times because it was just so long.

The reason your summary is so long is the fact that you have two parts to it. See part one is here:

And part two is here:

That's a handful to read. Just look at it and honestly tell me if you would be happy to see a summary this long. I'm not trying to be rude or anything, but most people on Wattpad can be a bit lazy and they won't like the look of that.

My suggestion is to completely remove part one, as it made absolutely no sense to me. I felt like that conversation was useless as it didn't intrigue me at all, instead, like I said before, it only confused me. Now the second part to the summary is golden! It instantly drew me into the story and it even made me laugh toward the ending.

The second have gives the gist of the story without throwing too many facts at the readers. Of course this is only a suggestion, so if you feel like your story needs both parts then that's fine by me.

MOVING ON!!

Characters: You describe them really well. I was quickly pulled in by them and I soon took a liking to your main character Nadia. She's this extremely tough and talented girl who kills demons! What's not to like? The way you had her react to certain events only improved the way I saw her. You didn't just tell me about her but you showed me her personality which helped make the story so much better.

CALLUM: So this character wasn't introduced until a bit later in the story, yet I grew to like him as well. He just has this funny but nice feel to him. Also the fact that he seems to be the only one who can stand up to Nadia is just as impressive as his fighting skills. You do an amazing job to bring both of these characters to life.

Plot:  Your plot is amazing. You describe your setting very well which helped paint a picture in my head. You maneuvered your setting to accommodate that of where your character was going to work in. By giving the reader's this creepy forest setting, better improved the creepy demon events. The twists and turns you incorporated into your plot had me screaming and jumping up and down. By adding these twists in events you only pulled me in deeper to your story and for that I give you a thumbs up!! Amazing!

Grammar: Seeing how your on top of editing your stories everyday, I wasn't really able to find much mistakes. Your punctuation is on point, but the only thing you do wrong is you sometimes add or forget a word that helps make your sentences make sense.

For instance on the prologue you write this:

The underlined portion of this paragraph has a missing word. Between the word "not" and "graduate you need to add the word "you" in order for the sentence to make sense. Another example of this is on Chapter two where you write this:

The word "of", which is circled shouldn't be there as it ruins the flow of the sentence. These two examples and the ones I pointed out to you are the only mistakes I found. Your really good at making sure you have no grammatical errors which helps make your story more attractive.

Extra Info: Nadia burned one of the red wood trees, but wasn't that against the rules? Just wondering.

Note from me!

You are an amazing writer and there's no doubt that your gran would be so proud. You have a skill for writing descriptive fighting scenes. Since most people like me lack this skill your book immediately shoots up in the real time author category.

I can easily see your book propped up in a bookshelf next to the Maze Runner and Percy Jackson books. It's that good.

You wanted me to to point out your weakest points, but I can't really say you have any. Your just extremely comfortable with this writing stuff and it really shows :) I'll gladly recommend your story because you deserve to reach 1K

I hope this helped. Comment your thoughts.

-Esmer

P.S. I'll definitely continue to read your story :)