Book Reviews! (CLOSED)

Zero

Novel by TheMarcoToni
Genre: Science Fiction

Cover: *shakes head*

Why!?

Why is your title the number 0 instead of the word Zero!? It doesn't make any sense whatsoever.

Okay maybe it does a little, but still.

On the website you have the title as the literal word 'Zero' see the screenshot is below.

See how the two titles don't match. Now look at the screenshot below that belongs to another book.

Those two titles do match. And that way it looks a lot neater and better. Your actual cover is really nice and it fits the story very well. But that 0 ruins all that beauty.

Anyways I suggest you type out the word Zero on your title or if you really want it then you can easily have the 0 remain as a background with the word typed out in front.

Also your stickers are two big. I understand the fact that you want people to notice the sticker, but you don't want them to overcome the cover. Does that make sense?

Summary: Okay your summary contains two separate parts to it, and one part should not even be there! I would imagine you should be aware of which part I'm talking about. Look at the screenshot located below.

That screenshot depicts the beginning half of your description, and I've placed it in a red box because that has to leave! It completely ruins your summary and little notes like that are meant to be placed in Author notes inside your story,  not in your stories description! Your description is there to simply attract readers to your story

Characters: Nathan has a strange personality. He robs banks one second and then the next he wants to be a superhero; he's confusing. I feel like you need to better depict him. So that his personality matches his actions.

Plot: Uh... Your story idea is good, I like all this stuff about inborns and it's really interesting to read about, but you lack so much description. The first five chapters I read including the prologue had nothing, but dialogue! I needed descriptions of the house, descriptions of these people's looks.

I need something more than just talking!

I understand why you had all this dialogue, but hon, you need to add more to this story because it is Aaron really good story idea you just need to present it in a nice and intriguing manner.

Grammar: Okay. You might want to take a seat for this one. Because I'm going to be saying a lot of stuff and I might be getting angry as well. Don't worry I'm not angry at you, I'm just frustrated with what you did.

Does that make sense? Eh, you don't care. Anyways. First things first. Chapter One!

I saw the above thing a lot throughout your entire book not just chapter one. Now, see all those big fat red lines cutting through your paragraph, they're not just there for decoration they are there to make a point!

Every single time a different person talks you need to press enter because it counts as a new paragraph in writing context. I understand you did click enter as it looks to be semi-separated, but there needs to be a physical gap in between them.

Now on Chapter Two I noticed  that you had a few words pulled together. Look at the screenshot below:

The underlined words have two words pushed against each other. You need to go back and add a space in between each of these underlined words. Another thing you do throughout your book is located below:

You forgot to add the periods in those two sentences. You do this a lot so when editing make sure to keep an eye out for those missing periods.

Extra Info you might want to know:
Um... your chapter titles are very interesting, but I have no idea what they say. Mind explaining?

Note from me!

Okay so your story is really interesting you just need to thoroughly edit it and then you'll be fine. Also don't forget to add that extra description to give more volume to your story. Keep writing :)

Were you offended by my review? If you have a problem with it private message me and we'll have a talk.

-Esmer