Book Reviews! (CLOSED)

23:27

Novel by heatherbloggs
Genre: Romance

Cover: It's very pretty and simple, but... I don't get it. Your stories cover isn't just supposed to be something eye catching but it also has to connect to the story and your cover doesn't tell me about your story at all.

I suggest changing it.

Summary: You give us the description and then you end it with this out of place and random quote. It ruins the flow of your summary, but the quote itself is amazing! So I suggest moving it to the beginning of the description therefore it forms a good book. Make sure to separate the quote with a line to make it stand out from the rest of the description.

Characters: In the first four chapters (including the prologue) I've only been introduced to two characters. Lilith and Alec. They both are presented very well especially because of the changing from perspective to perspective.

Lil is obviously a greatly depressed girl who still loves Alec. And you portray her feeling very well, so well in fact that I started to feel her sadness. Which is what a author wants to do.

Alec is another story. Although just love his POV I also feel like it goes by too fast. I don't mean his chapters are too short, because they aren't, but the flow of the chapter goes by really fast. I feel like you lack descriptions when talking in his point of view. I didn't feel what he did as much as I did with Lil. His character is just less, open and real, which makes it hard for me to understand him. I'm not sure if this was intentional or not but it just makes the chapter speed up.

Plot: It's everywhere!

You give me facts about the present, you give me flashbacks to the past, you give me the actual past, and you give me repeats of the present through a different perspective. It's confusing!

But you make it work.

Sure I have no fucking idea how you could have possibly made something that confusing work, but you did, you really did. I fell in love with these flashbacks. They give the story this unique and sad twist.

Switching to Alec's perspective when Lil was live streaming was brilliant!! Look I even added two exclamation points to the end of that! Amazing!  :D

Grammar: Your pretty chill when it comes to grammar or punctuation mistakes. The few I managed to find are easy fixes. For instance on Chapter 2 you write this:

This sentence makes no sense. You can easily fix it by removing the word "After" at the starting of the sentence.

On chapter 4 your write this:

In this sentence you forgot to write one word. Between 'want' and 'stop' you need to add the word to, that way it'll make sense.

Extra Info:
· Your chapters are extremely long!
· What do the numbers mean? Like 19:25

Note from me!
I really enjoyed reading your story. I do believe the chapters should be shortened down a bit. Maybe split them in half.

Also I feel like you need a new cover that better fits the story (:

So sorry for the late review. Comment your thoughts.

-Esmer