Book Reviews! (CLOSED)

Metamorphosis

Novel by ZelZel7
Genre: Teen Fiction

Hello! Hey, yep you guessed it. It's another quick warning for the author. Hallelujah!!

Anyways I want you to know before you continue to read that I do get a bit emotional and I do swear quite a bit in this review, Soooo yea. You've been warned...

Oh and also you get to be the first person who gets their title reviewed as well, you know because I decided to add that into the review :) So have fun.

Cover: Breath in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Brea- WHY!?

Your cover...

It's....

WHY!?

Damn it! I don't know!? I look at it and I love it. I look at it again and I hate it. I take a 3rd peek and then I love it. Take a sideways glance and then I hate it again. I love it, I hate it, I love it, I hate it. IDK!!

Girl who made you this cover and what we're they thinking when they made it? because damn it's so different. I haven't decided if I hate or love it yet, so I suggest just keeping it because it definitely drew me into the story.

Title: One word titles are my personal favorite! And this one isn't an exception.

When you first applied for the review I was like, "That's a weird title." But after reading the five chapters that I did read I fell in love with it! Because it makes sense!

It makes sense!!!

You see there's a lot of titles out there that only relate to the book in a small way. Like the title is used only at the ending but that isn't the case with this title. The main character went through this change and you probably had this all planned out already so I don't know why I'm mentioning it...

Just know I love your title :)

Summary (story description): Alrighty let's get started shall we. So um it's very...hmmm what's the word. Oh yes! It's very short. Like really short. Only three sentences short to be exact.

BUT

Your girl likes it :) It's simple but to the point and it's perfect! You have no grammar mistakes or punctuation mistakes so your good to go.

Characters: You have a lot of characters throughout chapters 1-5 but I will only be talking about the ones I felt impact the story the most.

TERESA: Okay this is your Main character and she's presented very well. She's her own unique character and I really enjoy her. I really enjoy how you have her remember flashbacks that further show her past.

TOBY: Um I didn't get much from this character other than the fact that he's brothers with Teresa and doesn't like taking care of her? Correct me if I'm wrong.

ROBERT: So I'm assuming this is Teresa's best friend...right? Anyways I like Robert he came off in a goofy matter, but when he was a bit shocked over Teresa's picture I feel like you could've shown his feelings a bit better.

DAX: Now I'm not so fond of this character. You stuffed him into the middle of the story like nothing. I think it was in Chapter 3 that you told the readers that he's dating Teresa. I just feel like he was thrown into the story at random, I feel like you could have mentioned him a bit sooner...am I making sense?

ALEX: I love this character!! Well not literally since its obvious he's an asshole, but I love the way he was presented! He was only in the story for a short time but he caused the biggest impact in your plot. The way he spoke to Robert during the phone call quickly revealed his personality which is amazing, since most authors have trouble showing rather than saying. Good job!

Plot: From what I got out of the story description your Main character has her past life come back but I'm not sure where your going with this. Maybe it's just the fact that I only read five chapters and I didn't have time to get to the big plot, but I don't see where your story is going.

Like at first I thought it'd affect her love life but her and Dax already solved that problem so now I'm just...confused. I don't know you didn't give me much events to work from.

Grammar: I couldn't find much grammar or punctuation mistakes in the five chapters I read.

Congrats!! You made my job extremely hard!

As your reviewer, I made it my goal to find something to help you out with. So I read and re-read to find two mistakes. The first mistake is on Chapter 2. Take your time to look at the screenshot below.

Now this is a screenshot of the phone call Robert had with Alex. Now I want you to notice the fact that all the words that are circled in red are bolded words. Now this isn't a grammar mistake but it is a appearance mistake.

You never bold the words because it isn't formal. People don't bold words unless they are the beginning of the chapter. Instead italicize them. It's neater and it brings more emphasis to the word that's been italicized.

The only time you can use the bold is if the sentence is already italicized and you want to further emphasis a word in that sentence. For instance take this sentence:

I hate it when guys play with my heart

Now say I want to further emphasis the word hate. Then and only then will I be able to use the bold. Feel free to comment any questions if this explanation didn't make any sense to you :)

ALRIGHT THEN! The second mistake I found was on Chapter 3, the screenshot is located below.

Okay so this mistake is just a teensy weensy one that can be fixed quickly. The circled word simply needs to be changed into the word were in order to make sense.

Other info and/ or opinions:

· I got nothing

Note from me!

Hopefully this review wasn't so harsh because I don't think it was. Anyways you should definitely continue writing this story since it was pretty intriguing. Just make sure you further work on your characters :)

Comment any concerns or thoughts.

-Esmer