Book Reviews! (CLOSED)

Jacobi Anderline Destroys Everything

Novel by BadPenname
Genre: Fantasy

Cover: It's very blank. And it won't catch many people's attention because it doesn't stand out, but it does surprisingly fit the story. I don't want to tell you to get a new cover because this one goes well with the story, but maybe you should consider changing it. Just as a suggestion.

Title: Although it's longer than most titles it is unique and it actually drew my attention when you first signed up in this review book. So don't change it because I really like it.

Summary (story description):

First things first your description is really short. Seriously! There's like 3 sentences in there and I really loved 2 of those sentences but the first sentence not so much.

For instance when you say, "The story of the son of a very important person, court proceedings, and flaming death horses."  It sounds strange and it's almost a bit cringey to read.

I recommend changing it so that it says, "The story of a boy who's father is an important person, court proceedings and even flaming death horses."  It just makes the sentence flow a lot better.

And as for the other two sentences keep them because they made me laugh :D Few people choose to write their story description this way, in fact most people write paragraphs because they don't know how to easily summarize their story in a short and eye catching way. You however, could. And I love it.

Characters: Your characters are freaking amazing! :D They made me laugh countless times, especially Wilkes. And Death surprisingly seems like a nice guy, he's very obnoxious.

Now your main character, Jacobi, is another story. I really like him because you don't tell us about him you show us instead. The way he reacts to certain events quickly shows his personality and I was quickly drawn into your story because of this.

Plot: I love your story!! For two reasons, the first being the fact that it's just written very well and is extremely entertaining to read and the second reason is because it reminds me of Savvy's book! :)

Savvy is one of my dear friends on Wattpad. And Savvy's book is hilarious and just as awesome as yours. Here's the username just in case you want to stop by Savvy's profile HandmadeSavvyImp

Okay got a bit sidetracked there, like I was saying... I love your story! When I first started reading this interaction between Wilkes and Jacobi I had absolutely no idea what your story was going to be about.

I mean, seriously! How could I? When the first chapter consisted of a guy breaking into his neighbors house. I laughed my ass off by the way, but still I was curious as to where your story was going. AND THEN YOU DROPPED THE FREAKING BOMB!

(Sorry for the all caps I'm too lazy to retype it in small letters lol)

I wasn't expecting Death! I mean of all the people who could have been this child's father, Death was the least expecting, but I love it! Your plots amazing, however you might want to work on making your chapters just a bit longer as most of them were extremely short :)

Grammar: I'm going to be honest with you here. I got really into your story that I completely forgot to look for grammar mistakes Sooo.... um yea....

I had to go back and re-read and I found one mistake! Yay (wait is this a good thing?) Anyways look at the screenshot below. It's located at the end of Chapter, Even death retires.

This was a simple and easy mistakes of fix, the highlighted word simply needs to be changed to mistook since it occurred in past tense. And that's all the mistakes I managed to find. :)

Other info and or opinions:

This is my favorite part of the story. I laughed so hard when I read it, although I probably shouldn't have...

Oh my gosh poor Uncle Chuck 😄😱😂

Note from me!

Please keep writing your story because it's so good. I'll probably continue reading it and I would gladly recommend it to anyone :)

Comment what you thought of the review
-Esmer