Book Reviews! (CLOSED)

The Onyx City Gods

Novel by MrSanguine
Genre: Fantasy

Cover: it's very simple yet not simple. I mean it's beautiful and stuff, but I- it just feels too empty and bland. It doesn't catch much eye attention and it doesn't really fit with the story either. I suggest changing it as soon as possible.

Title: I don't like it. In fact I much rather preferred your first title because it caught my attention extremely quick, unlike this new one which I find kinda boring. Wether you keep this title is your choice tho.

Summary (story description):

Wow your summary is very well written it gives me the gist of your story and did catch my attention a bit. The only thing I didn't enjoy as much was it had a lot of huge words that I had to Google. (Seriously I googled them) so I don't know if it's just the fact that I don't know so much words or if you purposefully wrote with bigger words cause it's your style.

I guess it's a bit risky using descriptive words that are also big because not much readers can take on words like them. Just as a suggestion tone down on them a bit. :)

Characters: Darius Prince- He's something I'll give you that. I really like his character and how skilled he is when it comes to killing. The way you have his thoughts italicized is awesome since not much writers do that. I like how you have him describing his scar. There's nothing I can tell you to change about him since he's so structurally built. I love him :)

Domino- She was only in the story for a little bit, but I instantly love her. She obviously cares about Darius and Darius cares about her as well, but I'm not sure what they are too each other. Are they just close friends?

Plot: Okay wow! Your descriptions are just amazing! I was instantly pulled into the story because I could actually see everything that was happening. Your violent and bloody parts of the story were depicted so well.

But I'm not exactly sure what the literal plot is...

I don't completely understand the full plot that your story is ultimately leading to. Now this could simply be because I only read five chapters and you don't drop the bomb until further into the story, but

Grammar: You don't have much grammar mistakes I only managed to find a few. For instance in the screenshot below you have a simple mistake that can easily be fixed.

All you have to do is add the word "me" between the highlighted words, lending and her in order for the sentence to make sense. And that's about it.

Other info and or opinions:

·  I really like how you incorporated some Spanish talk with the name, "El Dios"

Note from me!

I don't usually enjoy reading such bloody and gorey stories, but this one was an exception. I really enjoyed reading it.

Continue to write because you definitely have a special skill for writing. :)

Sorry for taking so long to finish this  review. Comment what you think.

-Esmer