Book Reviews! (CLOSED)

Raava

Novel by Lady-Senpai
Genre: Fantasy

Hello it's me! Coming at you with another warning for the author... yeah I know.

This review is a bit harsh. If your not open to honest yet helpful criticism I recommend you don't read the review for your story. However its really not that bad. So enjoy!

Cover: I love it! It's so simple but beautiful. The Girl on the cover really catches people's attention because of how beat up she is and the just cover in general catches people's attention as well :)

Title: It's unique I'll give you that and it's really fun to say as well. It sounds like a tropical drink :) I like it.

Summary (story description):

First things first. Always capitalize God.

And second of all this description seems a bit bland -no not bland- more like oddly specific. You practically described what occurs in the first few chapters. I just feel like you need to word it differently so it's more eye-catching to the audience (people scrolling through libraries looking for something to read)

I recommend incorporating a hook at the beginning of the summary so your description won't be so, for the lack of words, formal.

I'm not sure if that made sense...

Characters: I got nothing.

I mean I enjoy your characters but you lack description! Description! You need your characters to come to life! Describe them more, show us who these people are! I want to be able to connect with Raava's confusion when she arrives back on earth. I want to be able to visualize the look on her face!

When dealing with improving your characters as an author it's actually extremely simple. Since you created these characters you need to start thinking how you want everyone else to view them.

Plot: I read 5 chapters of the story and it was alright. The flow of the story was nice and the events that occurred in those chapters was also really nice, but (yeah I know you were waiting for the but) there's so much dialogue! And practically zilch description! ¡Nada!

For instance the Dragon attack in Chapter 4 was boring. I know I sound like a bitch right now, but that's not the point. The point is you didn't describe the Dragon. The readers want to know how the Dragon looks. They want to know if it's tail is spiky, if it's green, if it's eyes look psychotic, and etc.

You also have trouble describing the actual setting. For instance Ospar's castle wasn't described once. I as a reader want to know how his place looks like. Is it covered in gold with red velvet curtains and marble tables?