1 | Star Wars Rebels: Fallen Hope: My Only Jedi

Part 16

Hyperspace, inbound Takodana, 3275 LY

     Kanera stared up at the ceiling. Her eyes looked blank, emotionless. Ezra, her best friend, would have known better. He would have known that, concealed within her, was a storm of pain, grief, and depression. Countless times she reached for her lightsaber hilt, for its comforting hum. Countless times, she found herself brushing her upper belt strap where her lightsaber should have been.

     Since she had woke up, Kanera hadn't rose from her bed. She hadn't even sat up. She missed Ezra too much, too depressed to find the energy to move. Maybe to blink, to move her arm, but no to raise herself up. Kanan or Hera must have stuck her in her room, but she wasn't leaving. She didn't want to face the outside world. Not yet. 

     The door swished open. Kanera looked over to see her father in the doorway, looking at her. Well, not really looking because he couldn't see. Kanan rubbed the back of his neck as he realized she was watching him. Soon, he had the courage to walk in, extending a hand to feel his way towards her.

     For the first time since she had woken up, she moved. Kanera bent her legs to give Kanan room as he found his way to her. He pat the bed for an empty space, then nervously sat down. For a minute, he seemed lost in his thoughts. She wasn't going to interrupt. 

     Finally, he murmured, ''Promise me none of this goes to Hera.''

     ''Promise,'' she croaked.

     ''You wanted your lightsaber, didn't you?''

     The Twi'lek was startled. ''How-?''

     ''You and Ezra, Kana,'' he softly answered. ''You two are so much alike.'' The nickname brought tears to her eyes, clouding her vision. It took her a minute to realize what her father meant. ''It was after Malachor. He was depressed, much like yourself. My mistake was letting him have his lightsaber. Letting him keep it with him.''

     Kanera knew what had happened. Ezra had tried to do something unspeakable, but known. Kanan knew that she knew; she sensed it in his presence. ''Speaking of Malachor,'' she murmured lightly, ''Ezra wanted me to tell you that he was sorry. That he couldn't live with himself if he let me die.''

     Kanan chuckled. ''That's Ezra, all right. Poor kid didn't realize that I had forgiven him a long time ago. In fact, I never blamed him.'' He rubbed his beard as Kanera sat up, leaning into him. He put a hand across her shoulders, holding her close. ''I miss my Padawan,'' he admitted. ''You miss your best friend. But there's nothing we can do now. 

     ''He lives on in the Force. Remember why he died, Kana. Remember that he sacrificed himself for you, that you might live. Think about that, and you'll be fine.'' Kanan took a shuddering breath, rubbing the back of his neck. ''I had to train myself to think that way after my Master died. We all handle grief differently.'' He laughed. ''Hera stopped me from drinking today. She knew I did that before.'' 

     The sixteen-year-old hugged Kanan, and he let her. 

     ''How long, Commander Sato?''

     ''However long you need, Captain Syndulla. I hear it is a large loss.''

     ''Yes. None of us are taking it well.''

     ''See you soon, Captain. The Phoenix Squadron will do fine for a while.''

     ''Thank you, Commander. See you soon.''

     ''I must go. A patrol is contacting me. They must have found something.''

     ''Do I need to come back?''

     ''No. We'll be fine. Sato out.'' The hologram disappeared, leaving Hera sitting with her head in her hands. 

What did they find? Who knows. Hey, guess what? Cliffhanger!