Me&Him

H I S C A R & F L A S H B A C K S

There I was. sitting in his car, curled in a ball with the seat leaned back, staring into the eyes of the love of my life. I didn't know this yet of course. Anyway. We stared for a long time. I don't think we said much really, we talked in circles. 

"What are we" 

"I don't know"

"What can we be"

"I....I don't know" 

We sat in silence for a little. Somewhere along the line we ended up with our hands intertwined, a perfect fit. Then the small talk started I remember laughing at a joke or something then looking up at him, he was looking at me different again. 

"What" I asked

"I'm trying to decide if I should kiss you or not" 

"KISS ME" I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. But I couldn't. It felt wrong. Especially because this boy...liked me..and I had just been with DJ, someone who didn't give a shit about me. 

All of a sudden I was 15 years old, a freshman again. In my head I looked around, it was a memory, I was remembering the first time me and Jackson kissed. Because, yes, it had happened once before. 

It was dark outside. 7 little teenagers were crammed on a trampoline that was not meant to hold 7 teens. There I was. Sitting in the middle then, there he was, reaching for the roof of the house that the trampoline was nestled next to. On the roof was a hat. DJ had been dared to throw it up there by the coordinator of this little summer/end of school celebration, Madison. All of a sudden she was staring at me. I swallowed, I was the next victim. 

"I dare YOU to KISS DJ!!!" she squealed. I looked at DJ. The skinny white boy was definitely less than appealing to me. 

"No. He's DJ" I said, smiling confidently. She smirked at me

"Fine, kiss Jackson then" she pointed and I followed her finger that was pointing right behind me. I turned and there he was. Inches away from my face, ears and cheeks red. 

"I-I uh..I mean I could" I said. My head was on fire. I stared for a second. "Should we just..get this over with?" I asked him. His eyes got big.

"Sure. What the heck" 

All of a sudden I wasn't in control of my own dare anymore. Before I could blink in disbelief that he agreed to kiss me his hand was sliding from my cheek to the back of my neck. He softly pulled me to him and our lips melted together. My eyes slid shut and my mind was screaming, there were fireworks EVERYWHERE. Time stopped and I didn't want to move. I breathed out and relaxed. I felt him pulling away and my eyes snapped open.

I was back in his car. 17 years old, a senior in high school. As much as I wanted him to kiss me I just looked down and muttered 

"You shouldn't" 

We made plans for him to come over to my house the next day, Saturday. And see what happens. 

I left his car satisfied, but sad I didn't kiss him. It's okay though, I'd get my chance.