Me&Him

L A B O R D A Y Y E A R 2: D A Y 2

Waking up next to the love of your life is a feeling that I crave. You wake up feeling warm and safe.  It's something I've only felt twice.

I woke up before Jackson did. The early Sunday sunlight fought it's way through the closed blinds. i looked over the side of the lofted bed trying to see the time on the clock, I of course wasn't wearing my glasses so it just looked liked smudged numbers. I guessed it was probably around 8am. I rolled back over, making the old wooden bed creak, and stared at Jacksons closed eyes. Part of me envied him, he looked so peaceful. I wrapped his arm around me and took a deep breath, I could still smell his cologne, the same as that first night in my bedroom when we finally got together. I then thought about how far we'd come. I smiled to myself and closed my eyes. When I woke up again it was 10. Dan and Jen were still out in the bed at our feet. I looked up at Jackson again and  his eyes were half open this time. 

"What time is it?" He mumbled. 

"Around 10" I whispered back. His eyes closed again and I wiggled up to kiss his soft lips. He smiled afterwards with his eyes still shut. I rested my head on his chest. We stayed like that for a bit.

I forget what happened next. My brain always gets stuck on the first part, waking up next to him. It just stays in that moment, everything else is a  blur. 

The next thing I remember is washing my hair in the cold sink water.  Jackson standing behind me guiding my hand so I get all the soap out. Then, a dining hall, I remember not wanting to eat much because I was wearing a crop top and was already embarrassing myself enough. I felt insanely self conscious but Jackson liked the shirt so, I wore it. I ate a little but there was soft serve ice cream and I love it so I went with Jen and got a little. 

After that we came back to the dorm. Dan and Jen had something they needed to go to so they left and Jackson and I finally got a bunch of a lone time. We ended up on the floor with almost all of Jackson's blankets from his bed curled up on the floor watching movies on his laptop. I had chocolate milk and he had some coffee. We spent our afternoon huddled together drinking our drinks snuggled up next to each other nice and warm watching movies and just being stupid in love. That was my favorite part of my trip other than sleeping with him. Just existing with him is enough. Sunday dragged on there way lots of laying on the floor and listening to  music that I had pretty much no interest in. 

Someone came up with the genius idea to order pizza then walk all the way down the food street to get it. As much as I didn't like this idea I had no word in the matter. So, we ordered a pizza and started to walk. We stopped by the CVS on campus and that's when I bought my scrunchie, now, I understand people think scruniches are lame but I don't care. I love this scrunchie I wear it all the damn time. I also bought a bag of gummy bears because I love them. When we got to the pizza place the guy at the counter swore he didn't get an online order so we had to re-order the pizzas but we got a discount so we decided to use the extra money to walk down to another shop and get cookies. more walking. great. But, i actually wanted to go to this place because i'd seen a lot about it and was excited to go. We sat down outside while Dan and Jen went to stand in like. Jackson and I had a disagreement so we were pissed at each other or at least I was pissed at him. He says stuff that really hurts my feelings sometimes and I don't think he even realizes it, usually I keep it under wraps because I get that he doesn't get it. But I was tired and hungry and  a little annoyed all ready so this time I said something snappy just to get him back.

"f*ck off Jackson"  It's a bad habit of mine. I try not to do it a lot but it happens sometimes. We didn't talk the whole way back and I avoided walking near him. 

When we got back we had a few seconds of alone time. He stared at me sitting on the floor from his chair, fiddling with the laces of his shoes.

"I'm sorry if you are'' I didn't say anything back the first time. Something about it kinda made me more peeved, I thought that you're not truly sorry if you're depending on me being sorry back. 

Eventually we got over it and i ended up with my head in his lap while he played Uno. We were waiting for another girl named Hanna to bring a different game we could play in the basement. This game was ridiculous and I ended up just sitting by Jackson and watching him play. This went on until 1am and i was exhausted beyond belief. 

Getting in bed that night was different. I knew it was the last time I was going to do it for a while so I took everything slower. The lights went out and I got as close to him as possible. I was so tired but I didn't want to fall asleep. I didn't want time to go by too fast. I never wanted it to end. He was asleep within minutes. I laid there and listened to his heartbeat and his soft breathing, I wanted this every night. I don't remember drifting off to sleep but I did. I dreamed about waking up in the morning and not having to leave. I could stay there with him in bed. I wish I could have.

Day 2