When Will He Realize?

The Confusion.

I kept thinking about if I made the right decision. Then while I was in the middle of thinking if I made the right decision Kurt replied. He said, "I'm coming over there." I started to stutter a little bit. I was pretty surprised that Kurt would act like this. So I said nerviously, "N-n-now?" "Yes, now I think you need it." I didn't know what he meant by that. But I wasn't going to stop him. "Okay come on over when your ready." Kurt was always a gentleman he was always nice. And most importantly he knows whenever something is wrong. Then at that moment, I heard a knock at the door. I knew it was Kurt.

I looked at myself in the mirror very quickly. Making sure I looked nice for my guest, Kurt. Then I ran straight down right to the door. I answered. "Hi." I said with a smile. "Hey Jamie." I knew he was a little worried I could tell in the tone of his voice. And by the fact he called  me by my actual name. "Why don't you come in." I said. Then he grabbed my arm and said, "I would rather be comfortable if we went in the backyard, you know alone." I was pretty confused about the way he was acting because he never acts that way! But I decided to go in the backyard him following my lead.

We headed toward the back sat on the grass. Talked for a while. But he came right out and said what he had in mind. "Are you sure this is what you want to do?" It took me a minute to think. "You know this is what I want to do. I always wanted to do this you know it! So why are you asking me?" "I just don't want you to make the wrong decision. I mean what if it doesn't happen then what are you gonna do! Do you at least have a plan B so I don't have to worry what the fuck your doing. It will scare me. I want you to not be able to have a problem. If you do I will drive to wherever you are and try to help you! I will do whatever it takes to make sure nothing is wrong." I didn't know in what way he meant that. In the kind caring friend that he is, or if this a signal that he wants to be more than that. I don't know what it is but he has till the end of the year. Until I'm leaving for L.A. It's his decision whatever he wants to do. But he only has 2 months to make up his mind. 2 months until I'm leaving and then he can't express himself. 2 months until I'm gone!