The Hobbit Imagines

2. Kili x Reader (Part Two)

*Flashback*

The thought of you as a child chasing a butterfly through fields played in your mind. The butterfly was sunlight-yellow and bounced through the air as you frolicked after it. It seemed the graceful creature was leading you on an adventure, and you more than willingly followed. Keeping your eyes fixated on it's bright wings, you hurried through the fields, brushing blades of grass out of your way. You giggled as you jumped to try and catch it, your long hair dancing in the breeze. You were so young and without a care so you happily bounded through the untamed grass. It wasn't until a shadow lurked over you, hiding the sun from your searching gaze, that you froze and noticed how far you had gone. Trees like pillars stood in your way and you held your breath. The butterfly had led you to Mirkwood Forest. You had heard stories about giant spiders, roaming tree-folk, and even orcs. And your parents had warned you countless times to stay away. From deep within the forest, you heard a sharp, clicking noise... What devilish monster lay in wait for a stray soul? The sound continued, gradually getting louder... Click...Click...Click...

*Flashback ends*

You realised that Kili was snapping his fingers in front of your face, trying to get your attention. That explains what the clicking was... Your eyes darted to him and he questioned you "Are you sure you're alright, Y/N? You seem a bit lost." Frowning, you stared at the stars and shook your head. Kili's gaze lingered on you for a moment, then he tore his eyes away and spoke to the other dwarves. You didn't want to tell Kili that the truth serum hadn't worn off, luckily he didn't ask either. So you could hide it for a while. Trying to regain your focus, you grabbed a book from you bag and turned to a random chapter. You stared at the words for a moment, not processing the information. Then, the words melted on the page, becoming a pool of black ink. You watched as the ink bubbled and hissed turning into some deranged whirlpool. You felt yourself being drawn in, slowly moving the book closer to you. You slammed the book shut and threw it to the ground. A few of the other dwarves looked at you suspiciously, Kili included. He hurried over to you, placing an arm around your shoulder and leading you away from the rest of the group.

The two of you sat in an isolated corner of the field in silence. Sadly, Kili observed you holding your head in your hands. This whole serum business was overwhelming. "Is everything okay?" Kili placed his hand on your arm making you flinch. You were so on edge. "No, not really." You stated simply. "What's wrong?" He investigated. "I'm seeing things which aren't really there, I'm saying things which I shouldn't, and I'm exhausted of it." You listed. Kili looked slightly confused but nodded slowly "Okay, has something happened?" You rolled your eyes instinctively and you could see this upset Kili, then you said "Lots of things have happened. You should be specific." Kili blinked and rather angrily retorted "Fine then: why are you being so rude?" That was the one question you didn't want to hear, and didn't want to answer. "I... Thranduil gave me a drink that makes me tell the truth. It hasn't worn off yet." Kili's eyes softened as he smiled sympathetically at you. You snapped "You mustn't tell the others!" Standing, you began to walk off but Kili asked you to stay with him for a while. You had a brief conversation about the serum and about what you had told Thranduil. Kili was proud that you had remained loyal to the group. Then he mumbled "And you say it's not worn off yet?" You nodded sharply. An idea grew in Kili's head and he glanced at you quickly before looking at the floor again. He said lowly "Are you happy, Y/N?" You were perplexed by the question but replied "In some aspects of my life yes, in others not so much." This intrigued Kili and he continued "What aspects? Are you happy with me?" You frowned and looked at him as you said "I'm happy with you, I'm happy to be with the company. I'm not happy that we are destined to die on this quest." You didn't mean to say that. Kili straightened up at the thought "Why would you think that? We are close to Erebor, we have every chance of surviving." He argued but you shook your head. Then Kili asked "Do you love me, Y/N?" You shut your eyes. Why?  You thought. Why would he ask you that?  It had only been half a year but you felt so strongly for him. You didn't want to say it in case he rejected you, or he didn't feel the same. "I don't want to answer that." You replied. Kili persisted "But you have to. If I ask you, you must tell me the truth." So that's what he was doing- trying to get as many truths from you as he could while he was assured that you weren't lying. You were disgusted. How could he do this to you? He was the last person you expected to abuse you while you were so vulnerable. Anger twisted inside of you, mixed with woe and weariness. "No Kili. I don't love you right now. Feelings change, maybe I will again someday. But you have played games and snaked answers from me and... I can't love you right now." In your melancholic mood, you wandered away from Kili who sat dejectedly in the darkness.

That night, you moved your bedding away from the rest of the company. If Kili would use you at your weakest, the others would too. Checking the side-effects off in your head, you realised what was left: you suffered through the aching and hallucinations, the drowsiness could be surpassed, but Thranduil warned you that death was a possibility, and that couldn't be escaped to easily. Tears soaked your pillow as you wondered whether you would be found that morning already dead. What you didn't know was that a little way away, Kili listened to you crying and tried to comfort his broken heart by telling himself you were not yourself that day, that you didn't mean it when you told him you couldn't love him.

Upon waking up the next morning, you found yourself relaxed and relieved. Maybe death would still come, but you weren't ready to give up yet. You stretched as you got up from your bed and stumbled over to the others. They greeted you, still half-asleep, and handed you a plate of food. You scanned the group for Kili, then spied him by his bed, rummaging through his bag. You turned to Bofur and handed him the plate saying "I'm not really hungry, you guys can share this." Though, you were in fact starving. You rushed over to Kili who cast you a disinterested look before going back to his bag. "Kili, I'm sorry about last night, what I said wasn't fair." He interjected "No, but it was true." Defending yourself, you riposted "Which is more than you've ever been." Immediately you felt guilty for the remark. Kili didn't look at you as he spoke "Why are we together if you don't love me?" You tried to explain "Kili, you were using me for answers. If you want to talk to me, it should be when I'm myself. In that moment, I was so betrayed that I couldn't bring myself to tell you I loved you. But I did say that I would love you again. So, no last night wasn't when I loved you, but the day before that, and the one before that, all those months before that, I loved you with all my heart. And it's rather ironic that I'm being this truthful now." You could tell the serum had worn off because of how easily you gave the plate of food away a few moments ago and how you no longer felt drowsy or faint. Kili just stared at you. You sighed "I want so badly for us to be okay and I can understand if it wasn't. But I can't let this end while you believe that I have never loved you, because that would be a lie." Not wanting to hear his reply, you left him to think about what you had said. It was difficult but it was better that way. You couldn't tell him what to feel or think.

*Time skip*

Two days had passed and Kili hadn't spoken to you. You longed to hear him say he missed you or he was sorry. There was something so wrong about being apart from him. At midday, you were helping Bombur make dinner when Fili walked up to you and told you Kili was waiting by the river. He wanted to talk to you. Dropping the plates and pans that filled up your arms, you ran to the stream and saw Kili kicking the dust up from the floor with his foot. You paused a few metres away and hoped he would notice your presence. After a minute or two he did, and he smiled so brightly that you melted inside. Oh, you missed that smile so much. You approached him, not quite knowing what he wanted yet. He coughed and said quietly "I'm sorry for the way I treated you when you were still affected by the serum, it was unfair to say the least. I thought the worst thing in the world would be you not loving me, but I know now that it's actually you not even liking me. I need you here, Y/N. Even if you don't want to be with me, we can still be friends, it's all up to you. I love you too much to let go." He twiddled his thumbs nervously. You gawped at him "I couldn't bare the thought of not being near you. Two days has been trying enough for me to realise that I never fell out of love with you, I was just angry. In fact, even now I still love you more than I can show." Kili beamed at you. Pulling you into his strong embrace. You buried your face in his neck and held him tightly, for fear that he would disappear if you stopped. Something about being close to him again made everything fall into place. You didn't need anything more than this.

Hey! This is part two of this story and it's the last part as I don't think it's necessary to drag this one on. I hope you guys have enjoyed both parts and if you did, you can vote for them and tell me what you thought in the comments! I'm still looking for suggestions about what characters to write about so go ahead and send some in and I'll see you for the next update <3

~Niamh~