Definitions

Chapter 51: Something Gives

Frustration, abstract noun.
When all the plans you've had for yourself clash with your own limits.

Chapter fifty one: Something Gives
Still less frequently was the occasions when Lachlan and Preston convinced me to play Minecraft with them, and even then, I didn't always record it. Preston suggested that I pay his editor to edit some of my videos as well, but I declined him.
"It's not that I condemn Preston for his decision in having someone else edit and upload his stuff," I said to my brother, when Preston was out of the room. "It's just... I prefer everything to be personally done by me, and hiring an editor removes some of your own personality from the video. It's personal choice, I guess."
"I have to agree with you," nodded Lachlan, with a smile. "I always remember when we used to watch Mitch's videos, before we started doing YouTube ourselves. I know I wouldn't have liked it if he got someone I didn't know to edit for him. Even if they don't change anything, it just doesn't feel right. But you're right about it being personal choice, I guess there's some people who wouldn't really care."
"I do the same thing you were saying," I nodded. "It helps being able to put yourself in the shoes of a fan."
"Sure does," he nodded. "Anyway, are you much snowed under with work these days, or are you okay?"
"I'm okay, I think," I shrugged. "I've started getting stress headaches again, but I'm just gonna tough it out until this is all over with."
"For four more months? Jordyn!" Exclaimed Lachlan. "Can you not do something about it? What did you used to do to get rid of headaches?"
"I need to drink more water than I have been, I know that," I said. "And more sleep would always help. But I'm having too much fun!" Lachlan laughed.
"Aw, well that really sucks that you're getting them again," he said. "I bet you wish you had two copies of yourself to do everything with."
"Three," I giggled. "Actually no, I'll take four. One to play sport, one to edit videos, one to sleep, and one to send home to England." Lachlan was quiet for a moment, and I was surprised, as I'd expected him to reply. "What?" I asked.
"...I guess England is your home now, yeah?" He said.
"Home is where the heart is," I shrugged.
"Woah, that's deep, girl."
"Well, I was gonna quote Ethan, and say it's people that make a home, but I've done that too many times already."
"Okay then," he chuckled. "Well, I'm happy that you're okay. Just be careful, look after yourself, alright? Or something's gonna give."

Something did give. It just wasn't what I expected it to be.

~

'Something' came in the form of a whole world of pain I'd never even known existed. It was our last cheer practice before the showcase, and we were doing full out after full out, (which means going through our whole routine over and over again) trying to hit it perfectly. It happened during the tumbling section, which ought to have been my strong point, but I landed my tumbling pass wrong, and I felt pain shoot up and down my right leg. The snap was audible to me, even above the music, and I knew something was broken. It was the first time I'd cried from pain since I was just a kid, and as I'd never broken a bone before, this was completely new to me. Orby told me later that I'd gone white as a sheet, which can't have been hard, with my skin that refuses to tan.

The next hour or so was pretty much a blur. Andrea, who worked in the gym's office, called our apartment. My brother was out, but Preston came immediately, and he drove me to the hospital. I was so grateful for Preston being there, or else I don't think I would have made it through the next few hours without screaming. I was frustrated with myself. Not just the pain, but the implications of breaking a bone at this point in the season was horrible to me. I wanted to shout and scream, I wanted to blame someone else for what had happened, I wanted Simon to be there with me. Preston held my hand whilst they checked my leg, and took X-rays, and put it in a cast. Then I had to learn to walk with crutches. It seemed to pathetic to me - earlier that day I had been throwing backflips, and now I could barely walk.

I called Lachlan, and told him what had happened, and we picked him up from the shopping mall on the way back from the hospital. He was quiet, not really knowing what to say, which as I knew him very well, I knew to expect that from him. It wasn't that he didn't care, he simply didn't know how to react.
"Wow," he said at last. "That's, uh... wow, what are you going to do?"
"I don't know," I shrugged, tiredly. "Wait till we get the results from the X-rays, I guess."
"The doctors said it might just be a sprain, Jordy," said Preston, giving me a small smile. "It might just be a week or two you're out for."
"I don't think so," I said. "I definitely heard something break when I did it." I shuddered at the recollection. "I dunno, man... everyone tells you you're gonna be fine, and in a sense they're right - I'm not gonna die from a broken bone. But this means I'm out of cheer, and basketball..." I broke off, as tears threatened to fall again.
"You can still play video games," pointed out Preston, still trying to cheer me up. I couldn't help smiling at him.
"But that's not what I came here to do," I sighed.