This was a good thing right?
This is what you wanted?
So why did it feel so wrong?
♔
"So what's it gonna be, princess?"
You stared at him with wide eyes, not breathing or moving as every man in the room watched you like a hawk.
Simon watched a little too closely and that made you shift your weight from one foot to the next, in uncomfortable silence.
"Oh hell, I forgot to explain the details. Where have my manners gone?" Negan's voice startled you and made you jump, erupting a chuckle from the men in the room.
"Have a seat, we'll discuss this over breakfast. I'm starving, aren't you boys?" Negan motioned for you to sit at the seat right next to him.
The energy in the room made you uneasy. Something about the looks on their smug faces made you sick.
You missed everyone. Your group. Carl. Michonne. Daryl.
Even thinking his name made you weak.
Negan noticed your faraway look and handed you a plate of eggs and bacon.
"Milk or orange juice, sweet cheeks?" Some of the men in the room glared at you. It was clear they didn't normally get a choice.
"I want whatever they get." You said, surprising everyone, including yourself.
"Well, someone has a heart now don't they?" Negan seemed to have a newfound appreciation for you though. He liked that you considered other people and you could tell.
You merely didn't want to draw anymore attention to yourself than you already had.
The breakfast seemed to last for hours as everyone silently ate.
This seemed to both aggravate and please Negan at the same time which confused you.
Until you noticed Simon's gaze lurking on your chest. So did Negan. One of the pieces of the puzzle of Negan fell into place. He didn't like to share his toys.
"Simon, you want to tell me what the hell you're staring at so intently?" Negan finally spoke and the already tense room seemed to become suffocating in seconds.
Simon's body grew rigid and he shook his head, not wanting to give off any defiance.
"No sir."
"Good, keep it that way." Negan replied, sliding his hand over onto yours.
The gesture startled you both and you unconsciously jerked back in reflex.
His eyes changed from surprise to amusement and he leaned back in his chair to regard you.
"What's wrong, princess? Don't like it when I touch you?" Your cheeks heated from embarrassment. It wasn't that he was calling you out; it was that he was wrong.
"Alright boys. Give me and the princess some time alone. Breakfast time is over, get back to the compound to give me an update on the situation." Negan grabbed onto one of the men to his left and jerked him to eye level.
He whispered something in his ear that you couldn't make out.
So there really was something going on back at the compound that required Negan to stay here.
You knew that you had to become Negan's wife. It would get you inside the compound and possibly give an advantage over him and his men.
You had to do this.
Once all the men had dispersed, it was only you and Negan.
He gazed at you thoughtfully. His lips pursed and you figured he would bring up being his wife again, but instead he stood and walked out of the room.
A few moments passed and he poked his head back in.
"You coming princess?"
You nodded, standing to follow him.
He led you to a reading room; something you never noticed before. Not that you had much time to wander the rooms of the house anyway.
"This was her favorite room."
It was the first time Negan had spoken in several minutes as you both walked about the room, taking in all the little details. Between the golden globe paperweight on the desk, and the marble bookends on each shelf, the room was marvelous. You wished in another lifetime that you could have a relaxing room like this. Still untouched by the evil that lurked outside these walls.
"Her? Wait, is this your house? From before?" You asked, suddenly focused on him and not the room.
"Lucy. It was her favorite room in our whole house. And no, this is not the same fucking house. That's back in a state far away from here." He stays calm, his voice even the entire time, yet somehow you're still intimidated every time he speaks.
You stayed silent and let Negan continue. He walked across the room and sat down in a chair, facing you.
You awkwardly stood there for a minute before also finding a chair and sitting down to let him finish.
"I loved her. I really did. But losing her made me what I am today."
He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers.
"If you become my wife...it only insures your safety. You will never be raped. You will never be forced to do anything you don't want to do. You will have freedom, but limited. It's a dream. You just have to take it."
You rolled this over in your head for a moment. Then you decided.
This was it.
The moment that decided your fate.
"No."
♔
