Lost Daughter

Chapter 17

Vic's p.o.v

I paced around in the living room back in the comfort of my home, deep in thought. Tour was over and we were back home in San Diego, though I wish tour was still going. I could still remember the conversation Tony, Mike and I were having regarding to Victoria's little "meltdown" on the bus. I knew that she seemed out of place, but I didn't expect her to self-harm and get all aggressive. Now she steers clear from anyone and hasn't taken a single bit out of nothing. She tries hard to conceal the fact that she's losing weight, but she'll have to try harder than that.

"Okay, Vic. You can do this. It's just Victoria. Just go up there and tell her," I mumbled to myself. "Grow a pear and march up those steps, open her bedroom door and tell her."

"Do you always talk to yourself when I'm not around? If so, we need to have a talk."

I rolled my eyes and looked at Danielle, who was sitting on the couch and sipping on her Starbucks, staring at me in amusement. "You know, as a girlfriend, you're support to comfort me in my time of need and support me, not make jokes and pretend to be cute," I said to her. "How is sitting on the couch and drinking Starbucks while mocking me helping me?"

"I'm spreading my Irish good luck charm on you. Be grateful," she replied. "You can't stay away from her forever. Vic. The more you 'give her time to recover', the more likely she's going to explode and can't control herself, and you know I'm right."

I sighed and sat next to her, staring at my shoes. "I promised her that I would keep her safe from anything that tried to hurt her, but I can't protect her from herself. And that scares me because at this rate, she could end up doing some serious damage to herself and I wouldn't know where the start."

Danielle put her drink on the table and took my hand. "The last thing I want is for my daughter to fall into the same hole I fell into when I was around her age. Now my nightmare's coming true," I mumbled, turning to Danielle. She looked at me with worry in her eyes before kissing me. It was short and sweet, but it eased my nerves a bit. I smiled and looked at her when she pulled away. "What was that for?"

"You looked like you needed some love," she said. "Go talk to her. I'll be here waiting for you." I smiled and kissed her cheek, then got up and walked up the stairs. My heart rate sort of quickened and I could feel the sweat sliding down my neck. Hesitantly, I knocked on Victoria's door. "Care bear, I need to talk to you. May I come in?"

"Go away," Victoria answered with a raspy voice.

I sighed and knocked again. "Victoria, this is really important and we seriously need to talk about this," I pleaded. "May I come in?"

"I don't want to be around anybody! Leave me alone, dad!"

I felt my heart break a bit. She would normally call my daddy, never dad. I didn't like the sound of her sweet and innocent voice sound so mature. I shook my head and opened the door slowly. Victoria sat in the corner of her bedroom, her hair disheveled, and her head was concealed in her knees. "Pumpkin, are you okay?"

"No, I'm not. I want to be left alone. Just go away," she shouted.

"No, Victoria. I haven't seen you at all ever since we got back from the tour and that worries me. You won't talk to me or anybody because you seclude yourself in your bedroom, you won't come down eat, you refuse to participate in anything now-when was the last time you played your guitar?"

"Oh my, god, dad! Just get out of my room!" She screamed angrily. 

"Don't you dare raise your voice at me, young lady! This is exactly what I'm talking about! You're not you, Victoria. You're not my daughter! You look like my daughter, but you're not! You are nothing like my care bear! I can't bear to see you like this, so I schedueled an appointment for you to see a therapist."

Victoria looked at me for the first time, and I took note of the black circles under her eyes. She stood up and glared at me in anger. "You did what? How could- I'm not going! I'm not going to a stupid therapy session with someone I don't even know!"

"Well, you don't really have a choice, Victoria. If you didn't act the way you did, therapy wouldn't be on the table! But since you want to be unstable-"

"Unstable, huh? So you look at me like I'm some broken, fragile doll huh? Is that all I am to you?" She interrupted. "I'm not going to some fucking therapy session, so you can call the office and tell them to to kiss my ass because I'm not going!"

"First of all, stop cursing in my house! Second of all, since you want to act like a little brat, you're staying here in San Diego and you're not going to Warped Tour with us," I said. "What? You can't do that!" She yelled.

"Guess what? I did. Now grow the fuck up and act your goddamn age! You're not a five year old!" I yelled at her, walking out her room. I walked down the stairs and went into the kitchen. I grabbed a beer from the fridge and popped the top off, chugging the drink down. Victoria was still screaming upstairs, then I heard loud footsteps.

"Victoria, where are you going?" Danielle questioned her.

"Anywhere but here!" Victoria screamed back, before slamming the door behind her. I walked out of the house and walked down the driveway, watching Victoria run away from the house. "Victoria, get back here! Victoria Elizabeth, you come back to his house right now!"

"Kiss my ass!" she screamed over her shoulder.

"You know what, fuck it!" I yelled back at her, storming into house. "She wants to act like a brat, let her act like a brat. I've done my job."

"You can't leave her out there alone. She doesn't know San Diego," Danielle argued. "Go out there and find her."

I ignored her and went up to my room. "Vic! Victor, go find your daughter and be the father your promised to be!" Danielle screamed at me. I stopped and stood at the staircase. Danielle's heels clicked the door and I heard her shake her keys. "Didn't you promise to stick by her at all times, even when times are tough, or did you lie about that whole thing?"

Guilt rushed over me and I watched Danielle walk out, most likely to go look for Victoria. I felt bad. I knew she was going through a rough patch, and she didn't know what to think anymore. I didn't expect her mother's death to affect her this severely. I looked at the beer bottle in my hand and took a sip out of it, letting the alcohol slide down my throat. 

"Some father I turned out to be," I mumbled.