Life and Death || Z.M.

Chapter 18

*MAY BE TRIGGERING, READ AT YOUR OWN WILL*

November 23

21 days till Anna’s death

Two weeks. That how long it’s been since Anna’s near death experience. Two weeks since Zayn’s accident.  Zayn was able to come home 3 days after the accident. The boys, besides Zayn, knew about what had happened to Anna. Zayn was the last to find out that his own girlfriend had almost killed herself. Of course he flipped on the boys for keeping this from him, but he understood why they had. Zayn had been under a lot of stress already and they didn’t want to add anymore. Anna was found by Liam, who just so happened to turn around and make sure she didn’t need anything.

He found her lying on the bathroom floor, half alive. He immediately called for an ambulance, and then called the others to let them know. They had taken her to a separate wing in the hospital, so Zayn wouldn’t know. She lost 80% percent of her blood, literally meaning she could’ve died right there if it wasn’t for Liam. She had returned home the same day as Zayn and that’s when he found out. When he noticed the stiches on her arm. Zayn watched with a careful eye of Anna for the next week. He’s always made sure she was happy and not hurting herself.

Zayn still couldn’t believe she had done this. Anna hadn’t even told anyone why she had done this. But Anna knew: she needed a release, an escape. But she wasn’t ready to talk about it, not yet anyway. She was fine with Zayn keeping her happy, but having him constantly watching her every move boiled her blood. She wasn’t a child, and didn’t need to be treated like one. They were both in the kitchen, Anna putting together a sandwich and Zayn watching from the bar.

“I’m not a child Zayn. If you keep staring at me your eyes are going to dry out and roll out of your head” Anna spoke harshly.

“I’m not treating you like a child, I’m just making su-“

“Making sure I won’t do it again, right? You watch my every move to make sure I don’t find a knife or razor to do it again. You are treating me like a child Zayn, and I’m sick of it”

“Anna-“

“No Zayn.  Just…stop” Anna stormed out of the kitchen, leaving the food in its place.

“Anna, wait?” Zayn called rushing after her as she barreled up the stairs.

He caught hold of her wrist, but she quickly shook him off and ran to their room, shutting and locking the door. Zayn repeatedly banged on the door, but no answer. He finally sank to the floor, with his back against the door.

“Anna, I’m sorry if I’m treating you like a child. I never meant to do that. I don’t want to lose you Anna, I can’t, not yet. I need you, I need you so much, more than you’ll ever know. I’m under a lot of stress right now and you are as well probably. I don’t want to come home one day and find you lying dead on the floor. Do you know what that would do to me? Do you really want to hurt me like that? Are you really that selfish?  Anna I love you so much, it hurts me sometimes. I am not going to lose you or give up on you. No matter what we go through, I will always love you. You are one of the best things that ever happened to me, why would I just give that up? Anna, please let me in. Please?” Zayn sighed as he finished his last word.

He still didn’t get an answer, but he didn’t hear any movement either. Then there was a loud thud. He stood to his feet right away, banging on the door, but it was no use. He needed to get in now. He ran into the door with his shoulder, but it didn’t budge. He did it 2 more times before the door finally opened. He peered around the room, finding the bathroom door open and the light on. He ran to the door and gasped as the sight before him. He ran to her side, shaking her body, but she was barely breathing. He scooped her up and called for an ambulance.

Once they arrived they rushed her into it and drove their way to the hospital, yet again. Zayn called the boys to inform them of what was going on. They rushed Anna off down the hall, a nurse holding Zayn back as he cried out for her. The boys finally arrived and took hold of him. They sat him down and calmed him down. He was rocking back and forth with small tears running down his face, after 20 minutes. Liam sat next to him, rubbing his back to soothe him. All the boys were crying, or holding it in. A doctor finally came out and gave them the news. She was stable and alive, but was resting.

They wanted her to stay at the hospital to keep an eye on her. She did try to kill herself. They let the boys go see her but she was sleeping when they got into the room. Zayn pulled a chair up next to her bed and sat down. He stared at her with glassy eyes, wanting more than anything for her to stare back into his eyes right now. Liam stood next to Zayn with a hand on his shoulder. The others were surrounding her bed, staring down at her. Niall was the first to step out of the room, followed by Harry and Louis; leaving Zayn and Liam.

“Liam?”

“Yeah Zayn?”

“I need a hug” Zayn quietly whispered.

He turned to the boy overlooking him and crashes his arms around him. Liam held him tightly as Zayn cried into his shirt. Liam held his tears in, Zayn needed him right now.  Zayn pulled back and wiped his eyes, Liam looked at his friend with eyes of sympathy.

“Why don’t you get some sleep? I’ll wake you if she wakes up, alright?”

Zayn nodded numbly and took advantage of the big comfy chair in the corner of the room. Liam handed him a pillow and blanket a nurse had left behind, then taking a chair next to her bed. Within minutes Zayn was out like a light. He needed rest, it was stressful for him and Liam knew how bad Zayn was trying to quit smoking. Liam pulled his phone out and checked his twitter. He didn’t favorite or retweet, let alone to reply to any tweets. He was just trying to pass the time. He quickly became bored and put his phone back into his pocket. Liam suddenly became curious, he decided he should tell Anna how Zayn is, even if she can’t hear him.

“Hey Anna. I know you’re probably not awake, but I just wanted to say this. I wish we could understand why you did this to yourself; no one has a clue why really. I want you to know that Zayn really loves you. He loves you so much that his heart just might burst from so many feelings. But I don’t think that’s possible…anyway. I also want you to know that me, the boys, Zayn, Lou, Paul, hell even Lux care about you. I know Lux is a little young to understand this, but she might ask in the future when she’s older. Back to the point, we all care about you. A lot. I remember one time when you went out with Danielle, Eleanor and Lou and Zayn got so worried when you girls didn’t get back to like 5 am. He was legit pissing himself he was so worried. He would pace around the room, keep checking his phone and kept asking us to check our phones. I remember just screaming at him “CALM THE FUCK DOWN ALREADY!” at him."

"I knew it was mean, but it did get annoying. My point is he really does care. And I know you care about him a lot to. You must really care if you thought he brought a girl home, when actually she was with Harry at first and then she fell and Zayn helped her back to the bus. You flipped shit on him; it was kind of amusing to me. Sorry bout’ that. But that’s another thing that shows you care about him. You two are absolutely perfect for each other. Zayn would never ever find another girl just like you. Cause’ you’re one of a kind. And sometimes you guys are so coupley that I want to scream at you to knock it off, but you can’t help the fact that you’re in love deeply with each other. Please Anna, don’t leave us, Zayn, yet. We can’t lose your, your amazing. I don’t know what it would be like without you. We would probably be in the hospital for half our lives; well maybe not, but you get my point. You keep us…grounded, to a point. Please Anna, we love you. Don’t leave us yet, please?” he took a long breath and kissed the top of her hand.  Liam didn’t really mind if she was awake or not, he just needed to say that.

But Anna was actually awake; and she heard everything. She woke up when Zayn was crying, but faked like she was asleep. She heard everything Liam said, and she was just about ready to cry. She slowly opened one eye to see Liam looking down at his hands. She reached her hand to grab his; his head snapping up in such a quick movement. She put a finger to her lips, telling him to be quiet. She didn’t want to wake up Zayn, he needed the rest.

“Let him sleep, he needs it” she spoke softly.

She took a look around the room and sighed.

Why couldn’t she have just died and saved everyone the trouble?

Thanks for reading. I love you all :)