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Soph's POV
(This is a continuation of Chapter 12 of The Start of Something New from Soph's point of view)
Chapter 1
There was a deafening silence after Anna left, neither of us wanted to break it and face the reality that we'd need to discuss what would be of us after Jenny's departure to University. I've always been afraid of commitment — I still am, nothing scares me more than fully giving myself to someone, and then end up with nothing.
This moment is nothing but the reaffirmation of just that, I allowed myself to feel for Jenny, and now...
"I think we should talk about... it," she says in a barely audible voice, almost like she didn't want me to hear it. She has her back to me, Jenny would never have the courage to say it looking me in the eye — to be fair, I don't know if I'd be able to either.
I thought about pretending I didn't hear it for a second, but she knows I did, if my sudden shift in the bed wasn't indication enough.
I take a deep breath, trying to think of what to say, which is strange for me. I always know what to say, and I'll say it no matter how dumb it may sound. But with her, everything is different, I don't want to speak dumb.
There's nothing else I'd rather choose than to be with her, I have to stop myself from slipping and saying I don't care about the distance, I want to be with you no matter what. But all the what-ifs keep nagging at me, telling me to think logically for once in my life.
"Let's just enjoy the time we have together," I smile, even though she still has her back to me. "We don't need to think about this right now."
She turns around after a moment of silence, she makes no effort in trying to hide the emotions on her face. The natural pouty lip she has when she's sad is ever so present, I lean into her giving it a chaste kiss — I couldn't help it.
"When will we think about it?" she asks, the lines on her forehead losing their deepness after the kiss.
"When we are ready to think about it."
"So are we just going to pretend that I'm not moving out to another state in two days?"
"Two days is plenty of time."
"Soph..." she sighs, showing no willingness to put her thoughts into words. I fight the urge to pry the words out of her, it'd only lead to a deeper conversation — one that I've been so desperately avoiding — no matter how badly I want to know what her thoughts on us are.
I sit further into the bed, standing only a few inches away from her. Jenny has never initiated a kiss between us, either out of shyness or inexperience — or something else. "Kiss me," the words leave my mouth, almost unintentionally. Her cheeks immediately flare-up, her eyes that were on my face now looking at anything but me. She's hesitant only for a hot second before she shoots herself forward with an eagerness I didn't know she had in her.
