Running Away Into You (John Frusciante Fanfic)

Chapter 54

"What?" He asks, his voice rising an octave, "How much would it help, if you removed it could the cancer be gone completely, would there ever be a chance of the cancer coming back?" He asks.

"Yes, it would remove the cancer that is inside of her right now, and would significantly lower the chances it returning. It would be the best choice, but its also completely Samantha's decision" He says turning back to you.

"How much time do I have to decide?" You croak in a hollow voice.

"Well as much time as you want...within reason," He says, "Not a year, at most a month or so, but the sooner the better" He says.

"Right then. I think I'm gonna need some time" You say standing up, "Thanks so much Nick, for everything. I'll get back to you before the week is over" You say shaking his hand.

"Lovely to see you again Samantha." He says shaking your hand back.

"Thanks Nick" Says John, significantly less enthusiastically than when he greeted him.

"You too John" He says but before he even finishes his sentence you're flying out the door and John is quickly behind you. You don't say anything until you get to the car on the other end of the block.

"Can we talk about this for a minute" He says grabbing your wrist and you turn around.

"I don't want to talk about it!" You respond in a choked voice. Instead of getting in the car you sit on the hood and put your head in your hands, beginning to cry.

"Sami," He says sounding concerned and a little scared, but still getting up next to you. He sounds like he's about to say something but before he can you lean into his chest and begin to cry into his baby blue button down.

"I just—I know it sounds stupid and selfish and materialistic but," You sniff, "I don't want to lose my breasts John, I feel like I won't really be a woman anymore" You say feeling ashamed even as you say it.

"Sam" He says wrapping his arm around you and lifting up your chin with his finger, "That's not stupid, its completely rational baby. But you'll still always be a woman, your boobs don't define you."

"I just feel like such a terrible person for getting so worked up about this, I mean they're just my breasts. But I don't know I really am scared about maybe having to lose them" You say.

"Don't say that, you are nothing near a terrible person, if I had to have my dick cut off I'd be acting the same way, I don't mean to compare it to this but I'm just—ok let me start over. Let me just say I understand where you're coming from" He says and you laugh a little but don't really mean it.

"I just wish I didn't have to make this choice, I wish I never had cancer in the first place!" You scream banging your fist on the hood of his car and he doesn't even flinch as his Mercedes dents, even the tiniest bit, "I mean, I know no one really wants cancer but I mean..." You sniff your voice trailing off.

"Look if your life didn't depend on it I wouldn't want you too either, but Sami I'd much rather only lose your boobs then all of you. I don't know what I do with out you...without these hands, without these arms, without your heart, your loving heart" He says putting his hands all over you.

"Ok, stop paraphrasing the Ross and Rachel break up episode" You say really laughing for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"You're the one who is always playing those damn reruns every time I come out of the studio" He says laughing and he jokingly shoves you.

"I think I want to do it, get the mastectomy. It'll be scary but I know we can handle it. I want to be around long enough to be with you as long as I can, to maybe be your wife and have children with you. If this is the only way we can do that then I want to do this, if not for me than at least for you." You finish, leaning across the car and kissing him.

He holds your wrist as you cup his cheek in your hand and nuzzles your neck, "You're so brave Sam. I'm so lucky to be with someone as strong as you." He says, kissing your cheek softly.

"Just get off the goddamn car and stop being so cheesy" You say pretending to be annoyed but both of you knew you secretly loved it when he said things like that to you, what girl wouldn't?

"Let's go in and see the doctor, I'm sure he's free right now" Says John.

So you do. You go in, you schedule all your appointments with John holding your hand the whole time. There are a few tears as you sign the forms confirming the surgery but after than you calm yourself and remind yourself there's no other options.

You leave holding John's hand as he whispers reassuring words into your ear and you feel happy, knowing now you'll be able to stay with him for a lot longer than you had expected only a couple hours prior.