Running Away Into You (John Frusciante Fanfic)

Chapter 60 (Epilogue)

5 Years Later – John's POV

You walk across the grass, crunching your way through leaves that were somehow still falling. Even though you're in southern California the ground feels stiff and almost frozen, it is February after all.

When you reach your destination you breathe in slowly, just as you had been practicing in the lead up to this day.

You do what you always do on this date, February 13th, the day before Valentine's day, the day you lost her: you lay your flowers at her headstone and sit down to be with her for a minute.

This year you had switched things up. Instead of just talking to her for a couple minutes as you often did, you had decided to sit down and write a letter. After five years you had decided Sami needed a full update on everything that happening with you since you last saw her.

You open up the letter and read it to her. You didn't feel the need to read it aloud to her because you felt her presence and if you read the letter to yourself you knew she could hear what you were saying.

Dear Sami,

Its been exactly five years since we last saw one another. I can't believe its been so long since we said goodbye and in all honestly I wasn't sure I still be here five years from that day. After you died I considered everything, from suicide to drugs. Without the strength I know your spirit provided me, not to mention all the lessons you gave me in rehab, I wouldn't have survived.

I didn't know how to survive at first. I couldn't handle the funeral, I went and I spoke but it felt like a dream. I didn't even feel like I was there. After the burial I went home and I didn't talk to any of our friends for weeks. I didn't know what my next move should be, I didn't know what to say to anyone, especially the guys. I know it sounds dumb but I didn't even really know how to leave the house, I was so used to you driving always I didn't even have the number of a car service. I would just walk down the hill whenever I needed to leave the house, which wasn't often.

When I finally did talk to the guys it definitely helped. We started working on new music and I threw myself into it immediately, almost too intensely, it got to the point where I was so invested it was offending other members of the band. During this time there was a period where Flea and I weren't even really talking. I missed you so much during that time because I knew if you were still here you would know exactly what to do. You would talk to Flea and talk to me and solve whatever we had going on.

But we got through that and we made some of the best music I think we've ever made. I've honestly never been more proud of a piece of music, besides of course the solo work I made when we were together. You were always my toughest critic and my greatest muse Sami.

The guys miss you so much too. Anthony visits you once a year too. He's finally moved on from Yo which I knew you would be happy about. It sounds very over the top but I actually cried when I heard they were over for good because I knew how much you disliked her. You and Ant had such a strong connection and I know you thought she was a bad influence on him. I knew you would be so proud of him and it made me sad you couldn't go through this with us.

Flea misses you too, he doesn't talk about it much but I honestly think that's because it causes him so much pain. He loved you so much Sam and I know for a fact he thought you were a gift from the universe for us. I know he feels your spirit guiding us and speaking to him just as frequently as I do and it makes me glad he's continued his relationship with you as I have.

As for our pal Chad, he's doing well. He married this AMAZING woman, you would love her Sam, she's so good for him. She sort of reminds me of you in that she's so kind and gentle and put together that she makes us better and more motivated people. They had this amazing baby named Cole, he's so adorable. He's doing really well and I'd like to think you had a part in this too.

As for me, I'm doing well too. I took some time off from solo work for a while because it reminded me too much of my last solo experience when you were still here. However a couple years ago I got back into solo work and I made five albums in a little over a year. I have to be honest with you and say that the reason I became motivated again was falling in love.

It wasn't easy and I don't want to go to into too much detail but I know you wouldn't be petty about this because you always wanted me to be happy and at the very end you told me you wanted me to fall in love again with someone incredible. Even though at the time I was sure I would never love anyone again I know now you must've had a hand in bringing me together with Emily because she is truly incredible. She's so intelligent and creative and kind. I don't understand what I did to be so lucky to get both of you.

Even though I miss you more than anything I'm so glad the universe and the spirits brought you into my life for however short a time. I love you so much and I still think of you everyday. I consider myself eternally engaged to you and I still carry around your engagement ring with me wherever I go. I've gone through my phase of wishing you were still here and while I'm obviously not happy you're gone, I'm in a place in my life where I've accepted it. I know you're still with me in some ways just as I am with you in some ways and I hope wherever you are right now you are happy and at piece.

All my love,

Your Johnny.

You fold up the letter and place it carefully on her headstone, before pulling out a tissue and wiping the tears from your eyes.

"Goodbye Samantha," You whisper before you walk away.

You walk back across the grass to where you car was waiting along the side of the cemetery curb.

"Hey Em" You say as you open the door and Emily greets you with a somber smile.

"Hey, how was it?" She asks gently.

"It was good, each time I go I gets harder but I still love going. I feel at peace after I see her." You say and she nods and wipes away the remaining tears on your face.

"I love you" You whisper, leaning across the console and planting a small kiss on her lips.

"I love you too baby." She answers before turning back to the road, "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, I'm ready" You say softly, looking out the window towards where you could see Sam's headstone and flowers.

Emily shifts into park and when she sees you start to cry again she grabs your hand and you squeeze it tightly.

You couldn't believe you were living a life without Sam and you still couldn't truly process that she was gone, but you were happy, an emotion you never truly thought you would feel again.

You feel a sense of calm wash over you as you drive away and you like to think its Sam's spirit telling you to be strong, and telling you all the things you needed to know.

Hey guys! Thank you so much for all your support its bitter sweet ending this story but honestly all your comments and messages and votes have kept me going! I hope you like this conclusion :)

I think I'm going to take a break from writing for a bit (if that will actually happen we will see) but I have plans for a lot of new stories that I think you guys will really love! Thank you guys again and I love you all! ❤ ~frusciantefiction