Living on Love

Nine

Ariana sat in bed, staring at the sonogram her mother had given her earlier that day. She still didn't know how she felt about her mom having another baby so late in life, or so far apart from herself, but the longer she looked at it the more she fell in love with the brother or sister she would be welcoming into the world in just seven months. She was so distracted she didn't even feel Mac climb into bed next to her or hear his question.

"Ariana," Mac said loudly.

"Hm," she said, snapping out of her daze and looking at him.

"What are you looking at?"

Ariana looked back at the picture. "Oh, um... it's an ultrasound."

"...What?"

"Yeah," she said as she handed it to him. "That's where I was earlier, I was at the doctor with my mom."

"We're having another baby? Already?"

"No! No, it's not ours."

"Whose is it?"

Ariana pointed to the name on the scan.

Grande, Joan.

Mac's eyebrows raised. "Oh... wow. I didn't know she could still... have kids."

"Hasn't hit menopause yet."

"So... new baby Grande, huh? How's that make you feel?"

"Worried. I mean, there's health risks for an older woman to have kids. But the doctor didn't say that anything was alarming at this stage so... I'm hopeful. I'm almost... excited."

"Well... for starters, is she gonna keep it?"

"Why wouldn't she?"

"I don't know. She's just up there in age. Figured she might... nip it."

"No. no, she wouldn't do that. She doesn't have the heart."

"But she's pro choice."

"Yeah. But that doesn't mean that abortion is right for her. She just stands up for it because all women have the right to choose what they want to do with their bodies."

"Would you ever consider it?"

"Abortion?"

"Yeah."

Ariana stayed quiet for a few seconds. "Yeah. I've had one."

"Oh..."

Ariana looked at him. "It wasn't yours. I was sixteen. I just booked Victorious. I couldn't screw up an opportunity like that."

"Do you ever regret it?"

Ariana shook her head. "No. I mean... I ask myself 'what if' sometimes. But I don't regret it. If I hadn't gotten it then we might not have Malcolm or Stella. Such tiny details can change so much, yanno? What if I went through with that pregnancy? We probably wouldn't have met. We definitely wouldn't have the kids. And I'd probably be working minimum wage for forty hours a week and still barely be able to take care of my kid. I don't regret it at all."

"Would you ever go through with it now?"

Ariana shrugged. "Depends on the situation."

"Like?"

"Like... if it's the right time. If I'm in proper health. If we're ready for a third. If we'd be able to handle it emotionally and mentally. A lot of things. But I can't see myself having one if we happened to end up pregnant unexpectedly."

"What if you're on tour?"

"Then I go about it safely. Still do tour but make sure I'm healthy first and foremost. And if it got to be too much then post pone or cancel it altogether."