Living on Love

Sixteen

"Malcolm, sit your ass down on my couch," Ariana said as she walked into the living room.

"I'm tryna see the baby."

"You can see her just fine. Nonna's trying to get her to sleep and she can't do that with you hanging all over her. Go play. Right now."

"Stella gets to stay."

"I'm about to feed Stella, you don't nurse anymore. Go play."

As Malcolm walked out of the living room, Ariana picked Stella up from her playpen and sat on the couch, laying Stella in her arms. "What do you think, is it time to eat? Mommy forgot to get your Beechnuts at the store."

"How dare you deprive her of her Beechnuts," Joan said.

"She prefers nursing anyways. Nine times out of ten she'll just spit out the food. Drives me fucking crazy."

"Are you driving mommy crazy, Stella?"

Stella whined, tugging at Ariana's shirt. "Mama."

"You're not gonna be independent today? Are you grumpy?" Ariana asked, pulling her tank top up and unclipping her nursing bra. "How's Chelsea sleeping at night?"

"Good. She didn't even wake up last night," Joan said.

"Better than Stella."

"She's still waking up?"

"At least once. Sometimes she'll just go right back to sleep but other times she won't until we nurse. It's gonna suck for her when the twins get here."

"You gonna cut her off completely?"

"No, but she won't be nursing as often. She's just gonna have to suck it up and eat her damn Beechnuts," she said, earning a grunt from Stella.

"She didn't like that, Momma."

"She'll live. I don't think that was a grunt of disapproval, I think she's pooping."

"You little stinker."

"For real. I've been thinking of switching to disposable diapers instead of these cloth ones, at least with disposable I can throw it away."

"I tried to tell you that when you had Junior and you didn't wanna listen."

"Cloth diapers are better for them, the ones I get are organically made."

"There are organic disposables."

"They're stiff. Just let me do my thing. I'll figure it out. She sounds like a hollow drum though," she said, patting Stella's diaper. "I could make music on this thing."

Joan laughed. "You get that dorkiness from your dad."

Ariana rolled her eyes. "Speaking of Dad..."

Joan sighed. "What?"

"He's coming down next weekend so he can meet Stella."

"Out of the seven times you've seen each other since she's been born he hasn't met her yet?"

"No because I always went to his place and I was traveling so I didn't have the babies with me."

"So you talk often?"

"Not as often as I'd like but it goes both ways. I could contact him a lot more than I do."

"Still. He's the dad. He should want to be in contact with you."

"Yeah. But it still goes both ways."

"Mom. We're both at fault. You can't blame him for everything."

"Well I do."

"Need I remind you that you're the one that cheated on him with Mark? And that that's the reason y'all divorced? I'm not saying you're the reason that we don't talk much but it sure as fuck didn't help any."

"He forgave me for that. I know it was wrong."

"It doesn't matter. It didn't help that I only got to see him once a month after the divorce. That was your decision. He didn't get to see me because you decided once a month was enough."

"I'm not gonna argue about this in front of the girls, Ariana Butera."

"I didn't ask to argue, I'm just saying. I'll stop talking about it. I'm sorry."

Stella whined, smacking her leg and Ariana laughed a little.

"You want a diaper change?"

"It's either her or Chelsea, I can't tell."

"Chelsea's poop doesn't stink yet, she's two weeks old. It's Stella," she said , pulling the side of Stella's diaper out and immediately letting it snap back into place. "Jesus Christ. You're gonna have to finish eating in a little bit, I'm not gonna wait," she said, sitting Stella up, causing her to cry. "Stop it. You need a change, you smell," she said as she pulled her shirt down and stood up. "I'm really jealous that Chelsea is basically smell free, this little stinker melts my nostrils."

"Don't worry. She'll get me one day."

"I look forward to that day."