Living on Love

Eighteen

Ariana let out a small breath, pacing back and forth as she twirled a microphone in her hand.

"Mommy, why is it so loud out there?" Malcolm asked.

"Because there are thousands of people out there, sweetheart. There's a lot and they're excited because Mommy hasn't been on stage in a really long time."

"How come?"

"Because my last tour ended and then you got hurt around the time this one was supposed to start so we're starting it tonight."

"I'm sorry."

"Baby..." Ariana picking him up with a small grunt, kissing his head as she rested him on her hip. "You don't have anything to be sorry about. You got hurt in accident. You fell. That's not your fault."

"But your fans will be mad at me that I made you wait."

"No. They love you. They love you more than they love me. They're really, really happy that you're okay. That's why you're coming on stage with me for a few minutes."

"So they know I'm okay?"

"Yeah."

"Stop picking him up, you're pregnant," Gabby said as she walked by, taking Malcolm off of Ariana's hip.

"Child abduction."

"He's mine now, he's my little buddy."

"Ari," Mac said as he walked up to her with Chelsea in his arms. "Mom can't get Chelsea calmed down. She's freaking out, thinking something is wrong with her."

"Did you check her diaper?" Ariana asked.

"She's dry."

"Did you check for gas?"

"I got a little bit out of her but not much."

"She's hungry."

"Wouldn't take the bottle from me or Mom."

"Yeah, it's because she wants to be nursed and Mom just stopped cold turkey," Ariana said as she took Chelsea from him. "Would you like to eat, baby girl? Sissy'll make it better."

"If Mom wants to bottle feed her then that's her right."

"Absolutely," she said, unclipping her bra cup and pulling her tank top down. "But she's not gonna take the fucking bottle and Joan refuses to breast feed and I'm not gonna starve her. She's already underweight," she said as she helped Chelsea latch onto her breast. "Look at that, she's eating. It's magic."

"Don't start any drama, Ariana."

"I'm not I'm just gonna go talk to Mom," she said, walking towards the dressing room. She knocked on the door before opening it. "Momma? Are you okay? Malcolm says you're upset."

"She won't eat for me, I can't get her to eat," Joan said with a small sob.

Ariana closed the door behind her. "Mommy, she's eating, she just wants to be nursed. She's going to town right now. You have to breast feed, she's not going to take the bottle no matter what."

"I can't, I don't produce enough."

"Well then I'll do it, but she's not gonna take the bottle Mom. I don't mind feeding two babies, and Stella is starting to wean anyways."

"You have your own babies coming."

"Yeah I do, and I don't mind feeding three babies."

There was a knock at the door and Ariana opened it, seeing a stagehand. "Hi, what is it?"

"You're on stage in ten minutes," he said.

"I need twenty minutes, I'm feeding a baby."

"What do you want us to do in the meantime?"

"Have Mac Miller stall or something."

"Will do, Miss Grande."

"Mrs. McCormick," she corrected as he left. She closed the door  and sat in a directors chair by a vanity, carefully repositioning Chelsea in her arms so she didn't pull away. As she watched Chelsea suck at her breast, she let out a small breath before looking at Joan. "...Mommy, I want you to move in with me and Malcolm."

Joan looked at her for a few seconds. "What?"

"I want you to move in with us. She won't take a bottle mom. She would rather be hungry than take the bottle. She needs to be breast fed and I can't go to your place every time she needs to nurse. You have to move in. Please."

"What has Mac said about all of this?"

"I'll talk to him. But he won't mind. I'll make sure he won't mind."

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"Hi, everybody," Ariana said into the microphone as she walked on stage holding Malcolm's hand. "We're gonna do things a little bit differently tonight than we did my last tour. I'd like to apologize that you guys had to wait so long for this tour to start. We had a pretty big scare with this little guy here. This is junior. You wanna say hi, Mac?" She asked, holding the microphone to his mouth.

"Hi," he said quietly.

Ariana laughed a little. "He's a little shy. We had a scare with him a little while ago. He fell down our basement stairs and was in a coma for a few months. We were told we had to make a really difficult decision and uh..." Ariana sniffled, looking at Malcolm for a few seconds. When he held his arms up, she picked him up and rested him in her hip. "And we were supposed to take him off of his machines because there was no activity. We were supposed to lose him forever and not be able to hold him or kiss him or tuck him into bed anymore," her voice cracked. "But um... we got a call. My friend Liz Gillies, y'all know her. She was spending the night at my house and she heard my phone before I did so she answered and she woke me up saying that it was the hospital and to get down as soon as possible. In my head I was thinking "well... we have to take him off of his machines so what else could possibly go wrong?" but I got up and I went to the hospital and his doctor stopped us before we went into his room. She told us that what had happened was abnormal and rare and I didn't know what she was getting at, I just wanted my baby. So she ends up opening the door to his room and..." Ariana let out a small sob, covering her mouth with her arm.

Malcolm looked at her for a few seconds and kissed her cheek, laying his head on her shoulder as his tiny arms wrapped around her neck. "Don't cry Mommy, I'm right here."

Ariana let out a small laugh and kissed his head. "I know, baby," she said. "His doctor opens the door to his room and he's sitting up in bed, talking to a nurse and he looks so happy and healthy and amazing and I just lost it. My baby was awake and laughing and back to his happy little self and I couldn't be happier right now," she said, looking at him for a few seconds before putting him back down. "But uh... in the middle of all of this, my mom found out she was pregnant. And that cute scrunchy baby that's all over my Instagram is my baby sister Chelsea. And I'm sure you've all noticed by now that Mac and I are expecting again," she said, running her hand over her belly. "I found out I was pregnant when my mom was still pregnant, and I can't remember if it was before or after Junior woke up but it was somewhere close to that because I already decided that these babies were going to be named after the doctor that took such amazing care of my little boy," she said as she ran her hand through Malcolm's hair. "This took longer than expected but I really wanted to let you guys know that he's okay and what's been going on in our lives lately. I'm gonna take him back to his daddy and I'll be right back y'all, I love you," she said before leading Malcolm backstage.