Living on Love

Twelve

"Ari..." Liz said from the other side of the door. "Are you alright? You've been in there for fifteen minutes."

"I'm fine," her voice rasped.

"You don't sound fine. We've heard you throw up twice."

"Then stop listening."

Liz sighed and walked back to the living room, sitting next to Victoria and Matt. "She says she's fine."

"Maybe she just has a stomach bug," Matt said.

"Maybe. But she's been stressing a lot."

"I would be stressed too if my doctor told me I had to unplug my kid from the only thing keeping him alive," Victoria said. "He's her baby... it's not an easy thing to do."

"I know that. I can't imagine how hard it is. I don't want to. I just want her to feel better. I want her to be able to live a normal life."

"Her life will never be normal again, Liz. Her baby is dying."

"He's already dead," Ariana said, climbing over the couch and sitting between Liz and Victoria.

"Don't say that."

"It's true. He's legally dead. We just haven't signed the papers yet. We go up tomorrow."

"Are you okay with that?"

"I have to be. There's nothing else they can do about it."

"I'm so sorry..."

"That's tough," Matt said. "I don't know what I would do in your position."

"You'd do what you have to."

"He's going to be okay once he's gone," Liz said. "You know that. Granddad is going to be there. He'll be okay."

"He doesn't even know Granddad."

"He will. He knows him from pictures. He'll be alright."

"I hope so... I'm over the initial shock, I just... I want it to be done."

"It'll be over soon," Victoria said.

"I never want to do this again. What if it happens to Stella?"

"It won't," Liz said.

Ariana sighed when she heard crying coming from the baby monitor. "Speak of the devil."

"I'll get her."

As Liz walked out of the room, Ariana laid her head on Victoria's shoulder. "I love you guys. Thank you for coming over even though I'm in a shitty mood."

"Anytime," Victoria said.

"Seriously. But not at three in the morning," Matt said.

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Ariana laid her head on Mac's chest, drawing invisible designs on his skin. "I love you."

"I love you too," he said.

As his hand rested on her bare hip, Ariana looked at him for a few seconds. "...Are you okay with pulling the plug on Malcolm?"

"We have to do it, babe. We can't keep him here any longer. He's suffering."

"I'm suffering too..." her voice cracked as tears filled her eyes.

"I know. And I know there's nothing I can do to ease your pain. And that kills me. But I know that this is best for him. He can't hold on. If he could he would be making progress."

"It's just not fair... he's just a baby..."

"I know. But he'll always be our baby. Whether he's here or not."

Ariana laid her head down on his chest again. "...I wanna lock up the basement. Completely. I don't want anybody down there. I don't want anybody up and down the stairs."

"We have a three story house. We can't ban all of the stairs."

"We can move to a one story."

"Do you wanna do that?"

"Yeah. I do. I'm too scared to let this happen again."

"Okay. We'll start looking after the funeral."

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Ariana laughed as Stella stared at Joan's stomach. "Is that silly? Can you see Nonna's baby moving?"

"Baby," Stella said.

"Yeah, baby. It'll be here soon. You'll have a little friend."

"She'll have an aunt," Joan said.

"It's a girl?"

"Yeah."

"Did you hear that Stella? Mommy's getting a baby sister. You got any names yet?"

"I was thinking Chelsea for the first name. I'm still debating on middle names."

"What do you have so far?"

"I was thinking Ariana."

"What? Really? After me?"

"Yeah. Who better to be named after than her big sister?"

"Well who says she has to be named after anybody?"

"I do. You're an inspiration."

"No I'm not."

"You are. You have two amazing kids. You work. You put others before yourself. You're a great leader."

"Doug would say I'm bossy."

"You are. Bossy to the bone."

"Gee thanks Mom," she said with a laugh.

"So... how'd your doctor appointment go?"

"How did you know about that?"

"Mac."

Ariana stayed quiet for a few seconds. "...it was fine. Everything is normal. He said depression will come and go."

"Did he give you a prescription?"

"He was going to until he got my blood test results back."

"Oh? Why did he change his mind?"

"Because I can't take anything."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm pregnant."