Beyond My Boundaries | ✔

42 - All is calm, all is bright;

Chapter 42 - All is calm, all is bright;

"Let's go, let's go, let's go." I rushed everyone out of the car. I didn't want to be late to Edith's Christmas dinner, but thanks to Levi and his not so bright ideas, we would be.

Who proposes a drinking game on Christmas eve? He insisted that every time a stupid Christmas commercial came on, we'd take a shot of eggnog and rum.

Needless to say, with it being Christmas Eve, it didn't take very long for all of us to be drunk out of our minds late into the night.

And now here we were, twenty minutes too late, hauling ass up to Edith's front door.

I reached the door and turned around. "Okay, you guys better be on your best behavior." I looked directly at Brett and Levi. I had no concerns about Melissa, but they were the ones to worry about. I couldn't have them screwing up Edith's opinion of me.

"Hello dear." I spun around, startled and clutching my chest.

"Hi." I nervously stared at the little woman in front of me. "Edith, Merry Christmas!" I hugged her quickly and ushered everyone inside, introducing them all.

"Hunny, you've seen my family, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about." She winked as she encouraged everyone to sit down.

And I burnt up in humiliation.

"So you're Whitney's brother?" Edith smiled at Levi and he nodded. "Carson has told me a lot about you. You seem really good to your sister."

"I try." Levi gave an awkward smile and Edith moved onto Brett and Melissa. Questioning them about their aspirations and their plans on achieving them. Melissa gave a short winded answer, saying how she just wants to be happy. Meanwhile, Brett gave a lengthy one, saying how he'd like to move to a smaller city someday, get a dream job, and settle down with a wife and kids.

I never pegged him for the white picket fence kind of guy, but I seem to learn something new everyday.

We all joined hands on Edith's signal. "Who would like to say Grace?" She looked around, individually making eye contact with us all. We sat their quietly and awkwardly, none of us being much of a church goer. "That's okay, I'll do it." She smiled and bowed her head. Everyone else followed her lead, but I sat upright at the end of the table, uncomfortably holding Carson's hand on my right, and Brett's on my left. I watched them as they all closed their and I paid attention to Edith as she spoke.

"Dear Heavenly Father,

We bow our heads as we honor your presence at this table.

We will remember that Jesus is the reason for the season. We will celebrate the arrival of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords in a little stable in Bethlehem.

We thank you for each family member who has come to share this meal. We thank you for the delicious food that has been provided.

Lord, help us find and enjoy all of the blessings that you have placed in this Christmas day."

"Amen." Everyone but me, spoke in unison.

I wasn't sure where I stood with religion. I didn't know if there was a God or a heaven or hell.

There was a lack of belief in my life, after everything that has happened. Would a God make a child witness such a horrendous thing as I did? Or as Brett did? Would this so called Lord put two innocent kids through such horrible years of anger and pain? What kind of a God is he, if he allowed such things to happen to people?

My mother was a church goer. She'd haul us along every Sunday morning, and we'd fall asleep in the pews. I was too young with too short of an attention span, to really pay attention, but it seemed important to her.