She puts on a mask that portrays that she's happy and everything is fine. But that's just it, everything is "fine". She's lived her life in fear, no wonder that's her middle name. You could put a gun to her head and she would close her eyes and say...
Nicole's POV Its one of those days were really nothing can make smile for real. One of those days when the anxiety and depression seep back. Memories clog my mind, not letting any happy, good memories in. Every time I close my eyes I remember the night that Gavin raped me or just his many beatings. Just to add on top of that, Alec will barely touch me. Its been nearly a month and all he will do is slow up and down creases on my arms. He doesn't hug/hold me like he used to. I know bes scared that he'll hurt me but we, he had just gotten caught up in the heat of the moment three weeks ago. No matter how many times in tell him I don't believe he'll hurt me, he doesn't listen, so I've just stopped trying. I needhimtoholdmerightnow. Down stairs is louder than usual. I walk down stairs and see my mom, Gavin, my Dad, Jupiter, Raelee, Sirius, and Alec. I look at them weirdly. "Happy birthday," they says. Shit. I hate my birthday. Always have. I don't like that in was born, so way celebrate a life I want out of. My dad cokes over and picks me up. I force a smile. I keep distance from my mom and Gavin especially. Alec comes up to me and leans down, missing me gently while his hands stay at his sides. "Eighteen, finally," Sirius says. I smile at him. He hugs me tightly to him. I wrap my arms around him and bury my face in his neck. "You okay?" He asks me in a whisper. I look to Alec out of the corner of my eye. "Can we talk outside?" I ask him. He nods and leads me out to the backyard. We sit down on the bench that my dad made a long time ago for barbeques. He looks at me to start talking. "I'm just really not in the mood for celebrating the day I was born," I say. He places his hand on mine. "This is the same thing that happened last year, and the year before that. You don't want go celebrate a day you wish had never happened. But your here and we love you. I love you. I want you be happy and have a good time. That is my missing for the day; to make you have a great time," he says. I smile at him. "My dads barbequing," I tell him. He shrugs. No one knows what his idea of a good time is.. I do though. Our idea of a good time was playing video games, eating ice cream, playing board games, and watching reality TV. "Fine." "Raelee wants to dress you for the day and she said you have no choice," he says. I nod and stand up with him. "Something seemed wrong with Mr.Scary and you. What's wrong?" "I'll tell you at Raelee's." If there's anyone I can talk to it's him. He's always been my go-to through everything. Raelee would didn't move to town til freshmen year, so Sirius and I have known each other a hell of a lot longer. ××××××××

"Is it bad that I hate this?" I ask. Both Raelee and Sirius look at me like I've lost my head. You can see some of my scars on my legs, but at least the boots make my legs look longer than they actually are. "Tell her she looks hot," Raelee tells Sirius. He smirks. "You look...stunning," he says. I blush and try walking over. He has to keep.me up right to walk in these death traps. Only god knows how long I'll survive in these. ×××××××× Alec's POV Nicole and her friends walk back in. Holyshit. her hair is straighted more than usual, she's in a short, red dress, black tight boots. My eyes travel down her body, but land on her hand; her fingers are laced with Sirius's. My blood runs cold. "Sweety, you look beautiful," her mom says before I can get to her. She smiles at her forcefully. Today of all days she should be truly happy. I get to her. "You look...sexy as hell," I say. She let's go of Sirius's hand and he walks a way with Raelee. I take her hand in mind softly, making sure not to squeeze it. She leads my hand to her waist, but I take it a way as fast as I can. "Whatever," she says and walks away. I grab her wrists, stopping her. "Talk to me. What's wrong?" I ask. She looks around before dragging me into the living room of the house. When we get there she crashes her lips to mine. I reach my hands up to grip her but stop myself. She pulls away and shakes her head. "That's the problem," she says. I look down, knowing what she means. "I don't know how many times I'll have to tell you that you didn't hurt me. Sure, there were marks but they didn't hurt," she says. "I still put bruises on your body!" I shout. She bite her lip, fiddling with her finger. She takes my hand and puts something in it. Looking down I see the promise ring. "Get yourself together cause I don't want to marry someone one that won't touch me." ××××××× Nicole's POV Sirius and I sit down on the couch as TheKardashiansplays on the TV. He hands mea spoon for the ice cream. "So you ended things with him?" He asks me. I look down at my left hand where the promise ring was. What I said was true. If he wants to marry me one day he'll have to learn go believe when I tell him certain things. He didn't hurt me. I had told him to stop when things got rough but that doesn't mean it hurt. I wish he would just believe me. "I don't know what to do."
