A Candle in the Darkness (A Dragon Age: Inquisition fanfiction)

Humor Me

14 Haring, 9:41

Finally Cullen and Antonia came to a small lake. It was a beautiful spot, peaceful and quiet, the birds and the lapping of the water the only sounds they could hear. They had passed through several areas still marked by the Blight, but this place had escaped unscathed, it seemed.

They unsaddled and picketed the horses, setting up the tents again.

Then Cullen reached for her hand. "Walk with me?"

"Of course."

They strolled along the edge of the lake to a short pier. Fishing equipment was piled on it, but there was no evidence a fisherman had been there recently. Cullen looked around, a smile on his face, breathing in the air.

"You've been here before."

"Yes. I grew up not far from here; this place was always quiet." Looking out over the water, he said, "I loved my siblings, but they could be very loud, and even as a child I needed ... time, space. I would come here to clear my head. It was one of the reasons I enjoyed being a Templar, at first. The Order prized contemplation—the vigils were boring, yes, but if you did them right, they could be ... illuminating."

"Do you miss that part of it?" Antonia asked.

"Yes. But there's so much more I don't miss. And so much that I have now that I never imagined I could ask for." He looked at her with unmistakable meaning, reaching for her hand again. "You have been the greatest surprise, constantly, the most amazing gift, and I wanted just once to give you something in return, to take you away from the danger you walk into every day, if only briefly."

She smiled, having guessed as much. "Cullen Rutherford, Commander of the Inquisition, the Great Bear, taking a vacation? Will wonders never cease?" She gave him a mock frown. "How will you ever survive without a constant stream of messengers and status reports?"

"I should be able to last the day. Or a couple of days." Cullen chuckled. "In the meantime, it's nice to be able to do this without any chance of being interrupted." He bent his head, kissing her. "And it's possible I may have told Leliana where to find me, just in case."

"Of course you did." Antonia leaned her head against his shoulder. "Thank you. This is incredibly thoughtful of you."

"Well, don't go thinking of me as too altruistic. Having a couple of days where I don't have to be afraid of what might happen to you is a nice change of pace for me, too."

"Oh, no, you don't."

"What?"

"No work talk." The last thing she wanted right now was to think about everything that still lay ahead of them.

"Fair enough."

"Good. Now, tell me about your siblings. You said you came here to get away from them?"

"Yes, but they usually found me." Cullen laughed. "Most often, that meant Mia and Jared, the older two, would gang up on me and I would end up tumbled into the lake. Which was nice in summer, but not so much in winter."

"How much older were they?"

"Mia three years, Jared two. Then Ariel, the youngest, another three years behind me. We all thought she was a dreadful tagalong."

"I'm sure. And you were happy here?"

"I was. I still am."

That much was evident; since they'd been here, the tension in him had eased significantly. He took her hand again, leading her back off the little pier and further around the lake. They didn't talk; Antonia was just happy to be here with him, without the constant stream of details always surrounding them at Skyhold, and Cullen appeared to be lost in thought. They stopped again to look out over the water. After a moment, Cullen reached his hand in his pocket, bringing out a coin. He looked at it, turning it over in his fingers, and Antonia thought he might be about to throw it in the water, the way people did fountains.

Instead, he said, "The last time I was here was the day I left for Templar training. My brother gave me this. He happened to have it in his pocket, but he said it was for luck." Cullen smiled at the memory, looking at the coin. "Templars are not supposed to carry such things. Our faith should see us through. But this ... this is the only thing I took with me to Kirkwall that was mine."

"I'm not sure it worked," Antonia said, thinking of everything he'd been through. "You haven't been very fortunate."

"That depends on your definition, I suppose. I should have died during the Blight. Or in Kirkwall, or in Haven. Take your pick. And yet, I made it back here." He looked at the coin again, then lifted her hand in his and placed the coin in her palm, folding her fingers over it. "Humor me. We don't know what you'll face before the end. This can't hurt."

Antonia swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat, curling her fingers more tightly to hold the coin, still warm from his hand. "It will be like carrying a piece of you with me, wherever I go."

Gently, he took her face in his hands, tilting her head up for his kiss. "You already do."

Hours later, after Antonia had played assistant chef while Cullen cooked them a stewed rabbit—not quite up to Iron Bull's, truth be told, but significantly better than most of what she ate while traveling—they sat by the lakeshore, looking up at the stars. Antonia leaned back against Cullen's chest, feeling very safe and very warm. He gave off heat like a furnace, even on the coldest days. It was much like being on the battlements, except with the music of the water rippling against the shore replacing the music of the wind in the mountains.

He was telling her about the way sailors used the stars to navigate in the middle of the ocean. Antonia was impressed, as she so often was, by the breadth of his knowledge—as far as she knew, there was no particular reason for him to know that much about sailing a ship, except that at some point he'd been curious and read up on it, she imagined. With a contented sigh, she put a hand on his upraised knee, her fingertips absently stroking the kneecap.

Cullen drew in a breath at her touch, his words faltering as her fingers began to explore further. "So they ... um ... can find their way ... in the ... ah ... Antonia."

"What?" She turned her head to look at him, and he kissed her with a suddenness and a hunger that had her trembling in his arms. She curved her hand around the back of his head to hold him to her, his curls wrapping themselves around her fingers.

As the kiss went on, bit by bit they shifted until she was lying on her back, heedless of the sand in her hair, Cullen hovering above her. Slowly he lowered himself until his weight was fully, deliciously on her, and Antonia parted her legs so she could feel him there. They both moaned at the contact of heat against heat, so good even through the layers of their clothing. The wind carried the sound away—and carried back another moan, the lost wail of a wolf howling at the moon.

Antonia was startled, but Cullen was far more than that. The unexpected sound had clearly awakened in him some memory or fear, and he was gone from on top of her within seconds. Antonia could see him shaking from where she lay, and she hastily got to her feet as well.

"Cullen?"

He took a breath, nodding, clearly fighting for control. "I'm all right. Really." Taking another long breath and letting it out slowly, he managed a smile. "So much for no interruptions."

Antonia smiled, too. "I think I preferred Eustace. At least we were able to tell him to go away."

"I'll ... You should get some sleep. I'll take the first watch." He looked around him wistfully. "There never used to be wolves here before. I suppose everything changes eventually."