A Candle in the Darkness (A Dragon Age: Inquisition fanfiction)

Today with Her

1 Guardian, 9:42

Cullen woke as the first rays of dawn peeked over the top of the mountains, and lay in bed watching the sun rise. Antonia slept next to him, breathing deeply—a less courteous man might have considered it a snore—and he didn't want to disturb her, not after having kept her up very late last night peeling that dress off her body bit by delectable bit.

And that was after staying up after the party with Jared and some of Antonia's companions, drinking and telling stories. It was so good to see his brother again, and his sister, and his father, even though he wouldn't have recognized his father if he'd seen him under other circumstances. The big strong man Cullen remembered was gone, replaced by someone far more frail. It occurred to Cullen with a bit of a shock that the last time he had seen his father, he had been about Cullen's current age, and had looked a lot like Cullen did now. Would he look like that in another twenty years?

He turned his head to look at Antonia. As she kept saying, there was no guarantee any of them would survive another twenty years. He hated to see that darkness in her; he'd have felt more comfortable if he could have taken it inside himself, instead, and left her in the light. But you couldn't do what she did every day without some fear beginning to shadow you, he supposed, or live with the burden she did without a dread of what would happen if you let that burden slip.

Cullen would gladly have stayed there in bed a lot longer. Until she woke up, for instance. But the Inquisition didn't stop for the holiday, and his desk was piling up with dispatches and reports that needed to be dealt with. If he got up now, he could get an hour or two of work in before his family was awake.

He slid out from under the covers, dressing as quietly as he could. Antonia stirred briefly, shifting into the warmth of his side of the bed and burying her face in his pillow, and then she went back to sleep.

On the way through the main hall, he filled a plate with a few things for breakfast, and took the shortcut through Solas's room to his office, pausing to say hello to the elf briefly on his way through. He didn't think Solas approved of him in specific, or his role in general, but the elf was unfailingly polite.

Cullen pushed open the door to his office, and nearly dropped his plate when he saw his father sitting there behind his desk. For a moment, he was thirteen again, certain he had done something terribly wrong.

"There you are. It was my impression that this ... ruin was where you slept."

"Uh ... usually, I do, ser, but ... um ..." Somehow it seemed wrong to admit to his casual cohabitation with Antonia in front of his father.

"But last night you spent with the Inquisitor." His father chuckled, getting up from Cullen's chair. "Come sit down and have your breakfast, son."

"Yes, ser." Maker, it really was just like being thirteen again. Only worse, because at thirteen he wasn't spending the night with girls.

"I like her quite a bit; she's a quiet one, but we can use a few of those. Mia likes her, too, and so does Jared, so I'm sure your mother will approve. And it's a bit late in the day for me to be approving or disapproving of where you spend your nights. Are you going to marry her?"

Cullen put the plate down, debating how open to be. But ... he hadn't really had anyone to talk about this with, and this was the kind of thing a man looked to his father for advice on. "I hope so, ser, very much, but it's not something we can talk of right now." He sank down in his chair, motioning his father to the other one.

"Why not?"

"Because of her position as Inquisitor. Antonia is afraid to talk about the future. She seems to feel that if we do, then she'll be too ... anchored to it." Ironic, he thought, that the word anchor had come to mind, since it was the Anchor on her hand that had started all this. "And unable to face down Corypheus the way she needs to."