Non-stop •Mute Alex•

Alexander

A/N: apologies for any mistakes in grammar, I'm doing this on Google docs and copying+pasting to keep my Wattpad from crashing whenever I spend more than 30 minutes on it -_-

Co-written by OwlWithAHat

No back story this time :'D

TW: self hatred, reference to anorexia

Do you need one for self hatred?

(**) Before and after

Alexander P.O.V
I finished taking a shower and let my towel fall in front of the steamed mirror. ****I felt disgusting. I looked disgusting. Just my shapes and curves making me that familiar hourglass shape. I pushed my hair out of my face, my disgusting face. I have the stupid looking doe shaped eyes and the plump lips and the chubby cheeks (because of my height-weight ratio).****

In the middle of my daily self-loathing, my phone buzzed, which scared the crap out of me. I looked at it and it was Lafayette. That's strange, although it feels nice to have someone to talk to. I picked it up and was dumbfounded: We're in your driveway Mon Ami.

What? Why? I walk to school every day, they don't have to pick me up. I quickly changed with a baggy shirt and loose pants. I didn't have time to find my binder after I threw it across the room yesterday. I threw my hair into a messy ponytail and walked out the door with my backpack falling off my shoulder. Lafayette opened the trunk and I tossed it without making sure the zipper was closed. All of my homework fell out, making me break into a sweat.

Ugh, now all of my makeup is coming off, making my defined jaw and neck look all gross. "Fuck..." I whispered, making Lafayette raise an eyebrow. I avoided showing my face and just put all of my homework loosely into my bag, finally closing the trunk and getting into the back seat with Lafayette.

Being the self pitying bitch I was, I looked out the window the whole ride with small tears in my eyes. John spoke up, "So Alexander, where do you like to go to eat?"

What the hell? I don't know. I don't go out to eat, like, ever. I haven't for years.

I typed on my phone "I don't eat usually" and gave my phone to Lafayette.

"Alexander says he does not eat all that much. Mon Ami you must eat something. You wouldn't want to pass out now, would you?" Yes.

Either way, we arrived at a small restaurant and parked the car. Guys we don't have time for this, no.

When they walked out, I stayed in the car. Lafayette opened my door and watched me sit there with my head down. "Is he sleeping?" Hercules asked.

"I'm not so sure..." Lafayette replied. He poked my small boney shoulder, and pulled his hand away quickly.

****I know shoulders aren't supposed to feel like that, I'm basically skin and bones. It's not that I don't eat because I'm starving myself, I'm just never hungry.****

"Alexander, you need food, you're coming with us right now." Lafayette said as he pulled me out of the car. I shifted my body so that he couldn't see or feel any side boob that my sports bra couldn't contain. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks as I felt them just jiggle around almost freely. I usually wear a couple of bras at home and a binder at school, but this is a feeling I haven't had in awhile. Even though it felt nice to be able to breathe​, I felt more disgusting than ever.

I sat on the outside of the booth next to John. God, why do these guys hang out with me, first of all I don't talk, second I'm boring when I do talk, third, well, I'm surprised no one asked me why I look different. While everyone ordered something big like the barbarians they are, I ordered a side of fruit and a water. I glanced at my watch and noticed we had only a half hour until school started.

I frantically texted Lafayette check the time. I did anything to make myself unknown. I sat as close to the edge of the seat as possible, I slouched so much that I could barely be seen, and I almost made my way to the bathroom when the lady put our tray of food in front of me.

"So we have a few regulars, and a fruit cup. Is that all?" The waitress asked looking at the boys.

"That's all, Angelica." Hercules said. "You get off now or in a few?"

"Since I'm a senior, I don't have a first hour. I'm finished with everything I need and this year I only have like four classes. No first hour, no sixth hour."

"Nice. So you gonna work until then or nah."

"I took the day off of school to care for pops. He's insanely sick. But my work wouldn't have it.." she looked sad.

"Mon Ami, we are all here for you. John, Hercules, me, and our new friend Alexander." Lafayette finished as everyone looked at me. I gave a small half smile and waved at her.

"So you're the one they were talking to me about yesterday. Why were you hanging out with Jefferson you little weasel? Trying to smuggle my boy's secrets for him?" I frantically shook my head. "Good!" She smiled. I've never been so terrified of a girl in my life.

"Are Peggy and Eliza still in school or did they take today off too?" Hercules asked.

"Nah, they're still in school. What with them being younger and all, they have more to learn than I do."

With her being a senior yeah I'd imagine. But there are so many other courses that she could take. She doesn't have to be like this, unless she's like me and my family.

"Gotta get back to work. See y'all." She seems nice. Lafayette and Hercules both downed their meals in less than a few minutes. I just shuffled the fruit around in the bowl I was given. I'm not hungry, and I'm not going to eat if I'm not hungry.

"You're eating that fruit even if I have to shove it down your throat," Lafayette said with a mouthful of eggs.

I scoffed and swallowed a strawberry. Sweet, sugary, nothing special. Nothing I'd want to eat again unless it was put in front of me.

Classes went by slower than usual today, and Mr. Washington seemed to like me being in his class.

"Son, come here." He said to me as I was walking out. "I realize your situation at home is a little heartbreaking, if you ever need help with anything​, I'm always here." He gave me his personal email instead of the one he used for school. Well okay then. Go me!

The way that he calls me son, and acknowledges me as a smart person. I couldn't have asked for a better teacher if I tried.