Non-stop •Mute Alex•

Alexander

A/N: I'm gonna go ahead and answer the non existent question that y'all have: the title is because of the non stop drama, not because he works non stop

Co-written by OwlWithAHat

Amour=Love

So I'm just writing on a whim at this point. So if it sounds bad that's why

TW: Uhhhhhh big words?

Alexander's P.O.V
After the storm ceased, Lafayette looked at me. "Alexander, you're the closest friend I have. Please tell me what that was about." He said in a wondering voice.

"Umm, it's just a slight phobia I have. It gets out of control sometimes. I promise you'll never see me like that ever again." I claimed, assuming he'd thought I was weird.

"Don't worry about a thing." He assured. "I just want to know what causes this and how I can help." His face distorted into a perturbed expression.

"No one can help." I replied solemnly. "There's nothing to fix. I am what I am."

Lafayette looked at me like he was watching someone slip out of his hands. "Amour, what is troubling your mind?"

"I.. u-um, I have a slight fear of thunderstorms for personal reasons."

"Would you please tell me?" Lafayette asked. "Or would you rather keep to yourself? Maybe wait until you trust me a little more before opening up?" He suggested.

"No no, you deserve to hear." I choked out. "Well, when I was little, a hurricane destroyed my entire city in Nevis. And I was never really big on storms in the first place, so this was terrifying for me. It was the last time my mother and father worked together on anything. They worked to keep me and my brother safe. I was so scared. The bodies, oh the bodies..." Realizing that I was shaking, my breathing started to hitch. I stopped talking for a minute.

Lafayette put his hand on my shoulder and slipped his other hand into my shaking one. I slowed my thoughts and steadied my breath as I continued to talk. "Everywhere. My friends, any relatives that lived nearby, all gone. Very few survived, and this left my mother and father worried about me. Since I was the youngest and all. Shall I continue?" I asked, assuming not since I got to the part where I felt most vulnerable.

"I have a feeling you've held this in for a very long time, it might be healthy to let everything out." Lafayette concluded.

Nodding, I continued. "After the hurricane and storm, we were constantly moving, unable to afford much schooling for me or my brother. The fact that he was happy and I was not caused me even more grief, and I didn't know about depression at this age. It wasn't even in my vocabulary as something that I could ever have. Me being the small innocent child I was, I figured it was because James was a boy and I was a girl.."

I continued to explain until Lafayette hugged me unsuspectingly. "I'm sorry Alexander, you've had such a rough life. And I was there for none of it." After all this time, I felt a tear trickle down my cheek. "You are the strongest person I know."

"Thanks." I said simply, smiling up at him.

As Lafayette walked out of the room, the other two walked in. "Man, he really does act like your mother." Hercules said.

"Yeah, like you're his own or something." John wondered. "So what did you guys talk about? Or was there less talking and more of this?." John turned around and did the cliche fake kissing, which made Hercules laugh.

Finding my phone, I decided not to talk to the ones who were not taking me so seriously.

Me: I swear to you we were just talking

Hercules rolled his eyes, "If you say so but I don't believe it for a minute."

I rolled my eyes and fell back on the hard hospital bed. Feeling the left over tears in my eyes made me feel disgusting, causing my thoughts to run wild. Why am I like this? Will I always be like this? What exactly is 'this?' Do other people notice 'this?'

"Alexander?" Someone called distantly. I didn't look who it was, and I didn't care. I was falling into my state of self hatred. My curves, my boobs, my eyes, my thighs.

A hand appears suddenly on my shoulder. Looking up, I find that the hand belongs to John. "Alexander, we were joking. Please calm down." He said, worried.

I was already head deep in my memories. I'm disgusting, why couldn't I have been born the right gender? Maybe dad would've stayed. Or maybe I still would've liked guys. Then he'd leave because I was gay. Either way it would be my fault. I scratched my arm out of nervous habit, which resulted in me grazing a raw burn and yelping.

John and Hercules panicked, not knowing what happened or what they should do.

"What happened?"

"Are you hurt?"

"What's going on?"

The task of putting their mind at ease was much simpler than dragging me out of the abyss that is my mind. I reassured them that I was fine Anne that it was just one of my burns flaring up.

They relaxed and talked to me until the physical pain was bearable. "Eliza and Peggy were worried about you not being at school yesterday." John managed. I nodded. "Mr. Washington was surprised you hadn't given him a note or something to explain your disappearance. He was honestly really worried, unlike his usual 'I am the teacher and you must listen to me' vibe." He finished.

I highly doubtful Washington was worried about me, but I don't know at the same time. He did seem to really like me in his class this week.

All the talking seemed to calm me down  I from my previous state quite a bit. The storm had passed, I was with two of my friends that would give the world up for me. You'd think that everything would be fine.