Non-stop •Mute Alex•

Lafayette

There are tears staining this book :')

Co-written by OwlWithAHat

This is a longer ish chapter

Lafayette's P.O.V
Sometimes I forget how fragile Alexander is, and other times I cradle him like he's a child who could break at the very thought of him. He's so damaged for someone who's only sixteen.

I couldn't sleep with all of this on my mind, I just decided to keep my eyes shut feeling a trance like slumber. My trance was broken by feeling Alexander stir. I pulled him closer to me in hopes that he would calm back down. His body eventually relaxed and his breathing became steady.

It's scary how many times he's done that already. But with what he's going through, I can understand why. Poor kid.

I closed my eyes again and let my brain wander. Weaving between my past and my future, hovering only slightly on why's and how's of daily life before stopping at the big question: Why was this happening? Why was Alexander seemingly cursed with such awful relationships and overall life? It's not like he deserves it, I've never seen him hurt a fly... then again, why do bad things happen to anyone? Are they just random events chosen by some Fortuna entity, was it punishment for what happened before our lives today, is it pre-determined by some cruel god? Nobody knows. All I really know is that sometimes... life gets hard... and sometimes, it seems like too much. But one thing I can control in this life is my ability to be kind. I, no, we, all of us, John, Herc, and I, will help Alexander. We have to. What choice do we have?

Through my thoughts I barely noticed his breathing becoming shorter, more rapid. I tried doing what I did the last time, but it didn't work for long. He gripped the blanket with his hand and squeezed his eyes shut. I rubbed his back in failed attempts to calm him down once more before he shot straight up from his position with me and slightly yelled.

He was a shaking shivering mess. I pulled him into a tight hug before he had time to calm down. Covered in sweat and tears, Alexander found himself yet again in my shoulder receiving emotional support from someone who knows nothing about what he's going through.

I was going to wait for his breathing to steady before I spoke, but I didn't get a chance to because he whispered, "Fuck everything. Life sucks, reality sucks, I can't even escape into my dreams."

"Shh, what happened? You know you can tell me." I said playing with his hair.

He collapsed into my chest. "My whole family is gone. Since before I moved from the Caribbean, my life sucked. My dad? Gone. My mom? Gone. My cousin? Gone."

"Wait wait, your cousin? What happened to your cousin?" I asked, but I guess that was the trigger.

As if he didn't already have overlapping tear stains, he started to bawl even harder than before. He said in the quietest whisper possible "I walked into his room today and found him dangling from the ceiling. He never even said anything to any of us." He curled up his already small body into a ball and waited for his tears to stop falling.

"Don't worry, I'm here." I lulled. He calmed down in my embrace and released his grip on me. I look down and see his eyes on the clock. Oh yeah, we have school today.

I looked at him worriedly before he finally said, "No, I'm not using your razor to cut myself again." I hesitantly let go of him so he could grab his clothes and take a shower and such.

Is it bad to say I didn't trust him? What leads a person to perform such acts upon themselves? Then again, I can't even begin to imagine what Alexander was feeling. To find out one of the last people in your family decided to cut himself off from the world.. it's gut wrenching, even for someone who had only met him once in the hospital. Even more so if the brain functions for you to be a pessimist.