Smile For Me, Ressler

28

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

I can't do this.

As we arrived on Paris and settled our things at the hotel, all I did was look around outside the window and appreciate the beauty outside.

"Let's take a walk?" Ressler asked me, hugging me from behind while resting his head on my shoulder.

"Yes, please!" I giggled and grabbed his hand to go outside.

"'Di mo pa rin sinasabi sa 'kin saan ka pumunta that night," he said, as we entered the elevator.

I avoided his eyes. "I was with Zild, you don't have to worry."

"The fact that you're not telling me what happened that night makes me worried," seryoso niyang sabi.

I glanced at him and flashed him a smile. "We'll talk about it later, alright? We should enjoy our honeymoon first."

He nodded in agreement and kissed me on my cheek before getting off of the elevator.

It was dark in the evening, Christmas lights illuminating the whole city. Sa sobrang liwanag akala mo hindi pa gabi. The streets were very busy, full of shoppers marching from one shop to another. Nakakatuwa silang pagmasdan.

Pagkatapos namin mag-ikot-ikot ni Ressler, we decided to eat in a recommended Lebanese restaurant in a street near the Champs-Élysées.

"What do you want to eat, baby?" Ressler asked me, his eyes on the menu while the waiter's standing next to him.

"Anything," I said, flashing him a smile. I really like it when he orders for me. Kapag siya kasi 'yong umo-order, nagugustuhan ko talaga 'yong pagkain kasi sakto sa hilig ko. Or minsan, kahit hindi ko hilig, nakakahiligan ko dahil sa kanya. He actually introduced a lot of dishes to me everytime we go on a date. That's why when it comes to choosing food and drinks, I always leave it to him.

I looked through the window. A car at the top of the road shaking back and forth caught my attention. It was stationary, but was moving up and down. After a minute or so, I saw the car in the front come out and leave. The waiter saw my astonishment and said, "The cars in Paris are parked bumper to bumper. It's difficult to park, and impossible to leave."

"Oh," I responded. Ressler softly chuckled before telling the waiter his order.

Pag-alis no'ng waiter, nanatili lang nakatitig sa 'kin si Ressler so I did the same.

At that moment, I realized that he shouldn't know about my leukemia. It would only bring him pain, and sadness.

I let out a small sigh.

"That night—" I trailed off. He looked at me with a puzzled eye. "—sinundan namin ni Zild 'yong kaklase ko from Medtech. Nauna na kasi siyang umalis doon sa reception. Kaya bigla kami nawala ni Zild no'ng gabing 'yon. I was desperate to introduce them to each other. Concerned lang ako kay Zild. He's still single at that age, you know?" I said.

Liar, Tamara.

He raised a brow at me. "It's his life, Tam. 'Di mo dapat siya pinapangunahan," he said, shaking his head with a little hint of disappointment.

"I know. I'm sorry."

Pagkatapos naming kumain, bumalik na rin agad kami sa hotel. I left Ressler on the bedroom kasi gusto ko na munang mag-shower.

Hinubad ko na lahat ng suot ko and I started taking shower. I let the water run down my body. I didn't move. I just stared at the floor and started crying.

It's really leukemia, right?

The doctor already told me. Why the hell does she need to confirm it? Crap their medical ways. If I'm going to die, why can't they just tell it straight to my face?

I almost jumped in surprise when Ressler suddenly entered the bathroom naked.

Wait.

Wtf.

He's naked!

And I'm also naked!

At that realization, I suddenly turned off the shower and grabbed my robe, trying to cover my whole body.

He let out a small laugh. "Really, Tam?"

I rolled my eyes. "Get out, Ressler!"

But he didn't listen. He stepped closer to me and flashed me an innocent smile. "We're married," he shrugged.

I'm not used to this.

Oh my God.

We never did this before. I've never even seen him naked like this before.

It's all new to me.

Marahan niyang hinawakan ang kamay ko dahilan para mabitawan ko ang hawak ko.

Great. Now my body is exposed to this man in front of me.

I was about to yell at him but he shut me up with a kiss. I didn't know how to react. We always kiss and make out before, but now I'm just like a robot not knowing what to do.

He started going down my neck and started licking it.

"Ressler," I moaned.

"Mmm?" He teased me, caressing my breast with his right hand while his other hand's caressing my back.

He kissed me on my lips again and forced his tongue inside my mouth. Before I could do anything to stop him, I felt weak and gave in.

I started kissing him back, turning on the shower again. Water started running down our body causing more fire between us.

"I love you," he said in between our kisses.

"I love you too," I responded, pulling his hair as he deepened the kiss. He went down to my jaw, then to my neck, and then his tongue started to play with my nipple.

I let out a long moan as he sucked my breast.

I felt his finger down there causing me to moan more as he inserted his finger inside me and moved it in and out.

F*ck he's good.

"Ressler, faster," I demanded. I saw him smirk and pleasured me even more. He moved it in and out in a fast way, causing me to want more.

When I felt his hard Little Ressler trying to get inside me, I closed my eyes and pushed him away.

He looked at me surprisingly, trying to figure out why the hell on earth did I push him.

"What's wrong?"

I shook my head and avoided his eyes. "I'm sorry, I can't do this."

I grabbed the towel and wrapped it around my body. Without hearing his response, I went out of the bathroom, leaving him like that.

Tears started coming out from my eyes again.

We shouldn't have a baby. We should never have one. It will be a life sentence for him when I'm gone.