CHAPTER FORTY
I don't have to be scared.
"Hey, you alright?" tanong sa 'kin ni Gazino nang makita niyang nagdudugo ang ilong ko.
"Come on. I'll take you home. Hindi ka na kasi dapat pumasok," umiiling na sabi niya. Hindi na ako kumontra dahil ramdam ko na rin ang panghihina ko.
Bago pa man kami makasakay sa kotse niya, napahinto ako nang makita ko si Ressler sa may coffee shop na malapit dito sa pinagpa-parking-an ni Diego ng sasakyan.
"Morris?" tawag sa 'kin ni Diego nang makita niya akong naglakad papalapit doon sa coffee shop.
Mula sa labas ay kita ko doon sa loob si Ressler na umo-order sa counter. Nang makuha niya ang frappe na in-order niya ay agad siyang naglakad papunta doon sa babaeng nakaupo sa may bandang gitna. Naka-suot siya ng pulang blouse at hapit na puting palda.
Iniabot sa kanya ni Ressler ang frappe at umupo siya sa harap nito.
May kung ano silang pinag-uusapan, at para akong dinurog nang makita ko kung paanong tumawa si Ressler sa harapan niya.
I haven't seen him laugh for a long time. Ngayon lang.
"That's Morales," Gazino stated, standing right beside me while looking at those two.
Hindi ako umimik at nanatiling nakatingin lamang sa kanila.
"Let's go home, Morris. You're not feeling well," paalala sa 'kin ni Diego habang marahang pinupunasan ang ilong ko.
I nodded as I followed him to his car. Muli kong nilingon si Ressler at nakita kong nakikinig lang siya doon kay Morales habang nagkukwento ito.
Tipid akong ngumiti at binaling sa harapan ang tingin ko.
Ilang minuto akong nanatiling tahimik habang nagda-drive si Diego pero nakita ko na lang ang sarili ko na tahimim na umiiyak.
"Please take me to Zild," pabulong kong sabi. Tumango lang siya at sinunod ang sinabi ko. Nang makarating kami sa labas ng building nila Zild, tinawagan siya ni Diego para lumabas saglit. Wala pang limang minuto ay natanaw ko na siyang naglalakad palabas ng building.
Hinanap niya kung nasaan ang sasakyan ni Diego at nang maaninag niya kami, naglakad siya papunta dito.
He opened the car door for me and helped me get out of the car.
"What happened?" tanong ni Zild kay Gazino habang sinisilip niya ito sa loob.
"Ask her. Kailangan ko nang bumalik sa office, may deadline kami ngayon," paalam niya kay Zild at saka niya ako tinanguan bago siya tuluyang umalis.
Nang magtama ang mga namin ni Zild ay hindi ko na napigilan, para akong batang umiyak nang umiyak sa harapan niya.
"Hey, Tam, what happened?" nag-aalalang tanong niya at pilit niyang hinawakan ang balikat ko para pakalmahin ako.
"I saw him, Zild. I saw Ressler. He was . . . with Morales. They were laughing together. They looked happy together."
He let out a long sigh.
"You want me to call him? I'll talk to him if you can't," paalam niya sa 'kin pero umiling ako.
"I'll talk to him later when he gets home," sagot ko at agad siyang tumango.
"You're pale, Tam. I'll take you home."
Hindi niya na ako hinintay sumagot at dumiretso na kami sa sasakyan niyang naka-park lang rin sa malapit.
"I should call your doctor. Hindi maganda ang lagay mo," nag-aalalang tanong niya nang makarating kami sa tapat ng bahay namin.
"I'll call her later, don't worry," I assured him. He nodded. "You need to go back to your work, I know you're busy," tipid ngiti kong sabi sa kanya. "I'm sorry for disturbing you ag—"
"Stop saying that. Just get inside," he cut me off.
As I opened the gate, he left. Pagpasok ko sa loob ay naabutan ko si Ram na nakikipaglaro kay Manang Josie. Agad siyang tumakbo papalapit sa 'kin nang makita niya ako pero sabi ko sa kanya ay makipaglaro muna siya kay Manang dahil magpapahinga muna ako.
Sumapit ang gabi, bumaba na ako sa kusina para kumain. Nauna nang kumain kanina si Ram kasabay si Manang kaya ako na lang mag-isa ang kumakain ngayon. Maya-maya lang ay dumating na si Ressler at agad siyang humalik sa pisngi ko.
"Kain ka na," alok ko sa kanya.
"Tapos na ko kanina," sagot niya kaya natahimik ako.
"Kasabay mong kumain si Architect Morales?" tanong ko kaya agad siyang natigilan at muling napalingon sa akin nang tanggalin niya ang neck tie niya.
"How did you know her?" he asked, sitting across the table.
"Don't answer me with a question, Ress. I asked you first."
He let out a small sigh. "Yeah. I had dinner with her. Wala kasi siyang kasabay kumain, and inabutan na rin kasi kami ng overtime kaya kumain na rin agad kami pagkatapos."
I forced a smile. "You care for her." I shook my head as he tried to reach me out.
Tears welled up my eyes and began rolling down my cheeks like rivulets.
"Do you love her?" I asked again.
His jaw clenched as he stared at my eyes. "It's not like that, Tam."
"Then what? Why do you care for her? Why did you look so happy around her? I saw you, Ressler. I saw you with her today. And when you told me about not going home because of your boss? You lied about that too. I went to your company dinner but you weren't there!" I yelled. My voice was shaking.
His emotion hardened after hearing what I've said.
"Why did you lie to me, Ressler?" my voice cracked.
He was at loss for words. A sad inquiry seemed to dwell in his gaze as a painful thought was flooding my mind.
"She was there for me when you shut me down," his voice softened as he described her.
"She was shining so brightly at my darkest hour," he added, holding his breath in admiring silence.
"She's a good friend, Tam. She helped me stand straight and not collapse," he said, deep meanings behind his statement.
"I can't just throw her away now that we're back together. If you're expecting me to do that, believe me, I can't. She's like a sibling to me," he paused, looking straight at my eyes. "She's just a friend, Tam."
I wiped my tears off my face and flashed him a half smile.
"The way you look at her doesn't fit your statement, Ressler. You used to look at me like that when you were starting to like me," I said, pain written all over my face. "Believe me, you like her. You just don't know it yet. But you'll realize it soon. Trust me."
"No, Tam. That's not going to happen."
It's good to know that he has someone to lean on. Someone he could trust. Someone who can make him happy.
"I'll be glad if that happens, Ressler. As long as you have her, I don't have to be scared of leaving you when I die."
BINABASA MO ANG
Smile For Me, Ressler
Romance|| Published under PSICOM || Tamara didn't want her husband to know that the day he married her was also the same day she was diagnosed with cancer. Disclaimer: This story is in Taglish Status: Completed ***Now available at National Book Store, Expr...
