Smile For Me, Ressler

50

CHAPTER FIFTY

If only I have met you first . . .

Nananatili lang akong nakaupo sa damuhan habang nakatitig sa langit.

Do'n na ba ako mapupunta 'pag wala na ako sa mundong 'to?

Madaming tanong na pumasok sa isip ko pero lahat 'yon ay naglaho nang maramdaman ko ang presensya ni Zild.

Umupo siya sa tabi ko at tumingin rin sa langit.

"Pasok ka na sa loob. Hinihintay ka nila Brook para kumain," kalmado niyang sabi sa 'kin pero ngumiti lang ako at nanatiling nakatingin sa langit.

"Funny how things turned out for us," biglaan kong sabi.

Mahina siyang natawa. "Yeah. Ex couple became best friends," sagot niya kaya mas napangiti ako.

Kinuha ko ang painting sa tabi ko at tinitigan ito.

Ang ganda ng painting. Kuhang-kuha 'yong mukha ko at ang ganda-ganda ng ngiti ko. Ito 'yong araw na tapos na ako sa thesis ko. Hindi ko alam na kinuhaan pala ako ng picture ni Ressler that time.

"Can I ask you a question, Zild? This might be a little uncomfortable so you don't have to answer if—"

"Go ahead," he cut me off.

"That night when there's a celebration party at Ressler's house when I've passed the board exam, why did you suddenly show up? I mean . . . after so many years of not seeing each other, I was really surprised to see you that night. I never thought I could see you again, Zild. Why did you come back?"

Bahagyang lumingon sa kanya. Matagal ko nang gustong itanong 'yan sa kanya pero ngayon lang ako naglakas loob.

He chuckled softly and flashed me a genuine smile.

"I never left, Tam," he replied, his eyes now on me. "When you were on your apprenticeship for two years, the coffee that you've been drinking everyday was from me."

Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya.

All this time, akala ko galing sa boss ko 'yong kape na iniinom ko araw-araw.

"On your graduation day, I was also there. But I never showed up because I didn't want you to see me. Kuntento na agad ako makita lang kitang masaya. Paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa sarili ko 'yan noon. Pero wala eh, I couldn't stop myself from missing you, Tam. That's why I showed up that night you passed the board exam. I was hoping that we could still be friends. Kahit maging kaibigan mo lang, masaya na 'ko."

Tears started rolling down my cheek after hearing everything he just said.

Paano niya nakaya 'yon?

Paano niya nakayang mahalin ako kahit alam niyang may mahal akong iba?

Paano niya nakayang maging masaya para sa 'kin kahit 'yon ang dahilan kung bakit nasasaktan siya?

Paano niya nagawang manatili sa tabi ko kahit alam niyang hindi siya ang pipiliin ko?

Paano niya nagawang magmahal ng gano'n katagal?

"If I have met you first, it could've been you, Zild," pabulong kong sabi saka ko ibinalik sa langit ang tingin ko.

"You did," sagot niya kaya natahimik ako.

Ano'ng ibig niyang sabihin?

"You have met me first. It's just that, I'm still not the one," he added, making me more confused.

"Remember Drei when you were four?"

Drei?

Oh my God, don't tell me . . .

"It was you?"

"Zild Aldrei Morris," nakangiti niyang sagot.

Aldrei.

Drei.

Oh my God.

He was the one who let me borrow his bike behind my brother's back because my brother wouldn't let me use his bike.

My brother was always protective when it comes to me. Ayaw niyang nasusugatan ako. Ayaw niyang nadadapa ako. Kaya nung binilhan siya ng bike nila Mama, ayaw niya akong pahiramin.

And that's how I met Drei. He found me on school, crying. He approached me one time, and pinahiram niya ako ng bike niya ng mga tatlong beses. Pagkatapos no'n, hindi ko na siya ulit nakita. Nabalitaan ko na nag-transfer na siya ng school.

"How could I not recognize you that day we bumped into each other in the hallway?" I asked, shaking my head in disbelief. Hindi ko talaga siya nakilala no'ng nagkita kami sa Vera University no'ng hinahanap niya si Ressler.

"I couldn't blame you for that. Malaki kasi talaga changes no'ng tumanda na 'ko. Chubby rin kasi ako no'ng bata eh 'no. Akalain mo 'yon, ganda ng katawan ko ngayon," tumatawang sabi niya.

Napangiti ako. Hindi pa rin talaga siya nagbabago. Kung sino 'yong Zild na naging boyfriend ko, 'yon pa rin 'yong Zild sa harapan ko ngayon.

"Thank you, Zild."

"For what?"

"For everything," nakangiting sagot ko.

Saglit siyang natahimik at bumuntong-hininga.

"Stop it, Tam. It sounded like you're leaving."

I smiled, closing my eyes for a moment. "I am."

I slowly opened my eyes again, and there I saw a light from the sky.

"I am leaving, Zild."

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Tiana: Follow me on Instagram @christianavianne  :)