Smile For Me, Ressler

29

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

I don't want to hurt you.

I feel so weak.

I recently had the bone marrow aspiration, and it was extremely painful. It was an extremely uncomfortable and painful procedure. I could still recall feeling the pain as soon as I was transferred to a private room.

I saw Zild waiting for me. Without saying anything, he wrapped his arms around me. I cried on his chest for hours until I fell asleep.

"Hi," Dra. Lagura greeted us and flashed us a warm smile.

Marahan akong inalalayan ni Zild para makaupo ng maayos. "Hi, Doc," Zild greeted back.

"After running all our diagnostic tests, we have confirmed that you have leukemia, Tam. Unfortunately, it is the type of leukemia with the worst prognosis. We will, however, encourage you to undergo therapy, both chemo and psych, to help you get through this disease," she stated in a calm manner.

Tears welled up my eyes and began rolling down my cheeks in rivulets. I sobbed uncontrollably as I closed my eyes.

I had a lot to say but no words came out from my mouth. Sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko pagkatapos kong marinig ang mga sinabi niya.

Naramdaman ko ang pagpisil ni Zild sa balikat ko. He's trying to calm me down but this time, he can't. He can't do anything to stop me from crying.

Pakiramdam ko ang damot-damot ng mundo.

After a week, I had to accept the fact that I have leukemia and get a bone marrow aspirations and biopsies regularly still, even after remission. There's still an ache after, for a few days, and sometimes I have shooting pains where they've gone in. But Zild never left my side. He told me that whenever I'm ready to take all the treatments my doctor offered me; he'll be there for me.

"Architect Morris, you'll be assigned for the perspective, elevation and section. Architect Gazino, floorplan, roofplan, and building utilities are all yours. Architect Tianco, don't forget the site analysis and documentation. By the end of the week, I should receive all of your works," Architect Cunanan announced as he divided our work. I though the meeting was over but he spoke again. "Architect Morris and Architect Gazino, you'll be leading the inspection today after lunch. Casa Residencia," he said, taking a sip on his iced coffee before leaving the meeting room.

"Thank God, 'di ako kasama sa inspection!" Vince said, letting out a sigh of relief. Medyo madami sa 'min ang ayaw ma-assign for inspection kapag rotation kasi nakakaitim talaga ng balat 'pag nag-iinspect kami. Lalo na kapag bumibisita kami sa mga site, namumula talaga ang balat namin pagkatapos.

"I'll just get the car keys," Diego said, heading to outside the office. Well, he's pertaining to the company car. We use it everytime we go on an inspection kahit may sarili naman kaming mga sasakyan.

I followed him until we enter the elevator.

"You're hard to approach, you know that? Everyone in the planning department doesn't like reaching out to you because you scare the hell out of them with the cold treatment," he shrugged nonchalantly, flashing me a scornful smile. My brows furrowed as my forehead creased. This man's really annoying since the first day I've started working with him. He's so full of himself, and I really hate that about him.

"Why don't you join the company dinner tonight? You never did it before. Makisama ka naman minsan."

I scoffed. "Like that's gonna change their impression towards me," I said, raising a brow.

"Why not?"

Pagkalabas namin ng building, dumiretso na agad kami sa sasakyan niya. Wait, what?

"I thought we're gonna use the company car?" I glared at him.

He let out a small laugh. "Calm your ass down, Morris. There is no available car to use. I think employees from the other department used it," he explained. But I never believed him.

I raised a brow at him. "Are you trying to flirt with me by showing off your car?"

And there he burst out laughing. "What the hell? It's Friday, Morris," he reminded me. Napatakip na lang ako sa bibig ko nang ma-realize kong tama ang sinabi niya. Ugh. Why did I forget that today's Friday? Madami talagang gumagamit ng company cars kapag ganitong araw.

"Whatever, Gazino," mariin kong sabi. He always calls me Morris that's why I call him by his surname too. But I prefer calling him Diego because Gazino sounds like a Casino and I'm not a fan of it.

Pagdating namin sa Casa Residencia, nag-start na kaming dalawa mag-inspect dahil wala pa 'yong dalawa pa naming kasama na bago.

"Where did those two come from? Hindi siguro nadisiplina mabuti no'ng college sila kaya late sa first assigned inspection sa kanila. Tss," inis kong sabi.

"Hey, chill. Be easy on them. They're still adjusting. Gano'n rin naman tayo when we started three months ago," he tried to calm me pero tinaasan ko lang siya ng kilay.

"Excuse me, Gazino. Hindi ako late sa first inspection natin dati. Ikaw lang ang na-late."

Natawa siya nang maalala niyang tama ako.

We inspected every house in this village and discovered some stores that didn't have a permit. Madami ring bahay na nagpa-renovate and nagpa-extend na walang permit. That's the thing about inspection, we get to discover illegal planning and construction.

Habang busy si Diego makipag-usap doon sa owner ng huling bahay na pinuntahan namin, nag-ring ang phone ko at napabuntong-hininga ako nang makita kong si Ressler ang tumatawag.

"Yeah?"

"Are you coming home tonight?" he asked with a low voice. I've been avoiding him since that night in Paris. No'ng makabalik kami ng Pilipinas and started living in one roof, I always come home late, and minsan pa nga hindi ako umuuwi dahil sa office ako natutulog.

I don't have the urge to face him.

Nahihiya ako, nasasaktan ako para sa kanya, nanghihinayang ako.

"Yes, I will be home at seven," I answered, hearing him let out a sigh of relief.

"Alright, I'll cook dinner. I love you."

I bit my lower lip. I wanna say I love him too, I always do, but I don't have the nerve to say that to him.

I don't wanna hurt you, Ressler . . .

____

Tiana: Diego Gazino is a character from my other story Self-love Trilogy. :))))