Moving Forward

Chapter Thirty-Three

The weight of the couch might as well be the weight of our problems combined. The stress of moving, Blake's plotting to gain full-custody, and the satisfaction of my own needs. Right in this moment, things feel perfect and even if my arms are going to hurt tomorrow, the endurance of this pain will be worth it. Then again, in this moment, I feel like I'm dying.

"Why is this thing so heavy?" I grumble.

"It's not that heavy, Ava." Blake laughs off.

He starts flexing his muscles to make me jealous. I want to say it isn't work, but it is. Maybe I should have taken up the gym training when Blake offered it? Then again, carrying around London could be considered a work out session in itself.

Blake and I shuffle down the hallway and into the open lounge room. We place the couch on the ground and then he drags it into place. Once it's in the right position, he flops onto the couch and smiles up at me.

"We should have put the television up first, then I could have watched it," he says.

"No, because you would mould yourself to the couch and nothing else would happen," I reply. "Especially if the sport is on."

"Hey, I got up early and I started moving things," Blake protests.

"And I appreciate it, but we've got a walking toddler who will create havoc if we leave boxes and breakable goods hanging around," I remind. "After the work is done, I don't care if you mould yourself to the couch for the next day."

"Fair point." He nods. "How about we write our list of things to buy so we can take a break?"

"Okay, good idea." I nod. "Let's get started."

I rummage through the box that stays 'study' to find a pen and notebook. I pass it to Blake and fall onto the couch beside him. Blake wraps one arm around my waist and uses his other hand to write against the notebook balanced against his toned thigh.

"In this room, we'll need a lamp, a new rug to fit the space, and that's all?" he asks.

"Sounds good." I smile. "We can get a cheapish lamp from K-Mart."

"K-Mart is the best." He kisses my head. "The stools aren't a necessity, but they need to be replaced. Speaking of replacements, we need to replace the cups that you broke."

"Hey." I pout. "I told you it was too heavy."

"I know, baby, but you still broke them." He laughs.

"Keep going with the list." I jab his side with my foot.

"And a replacement for my broken rib." He writes down.

"Go on." I groan.

"We need coat hangers and additional storage space for our wardrobe which we can get later." I watch as Blake dot points more things further down the page.

"Yes, and we'll need more bathroom supplies like a mat for the toilet, hand towels, and whatnot for the extra bathroom," I say.

"That means extra soap bottles, bathroom products and more. Fuck this." Blake rips the page out and throws it over his shoulder. The scrunched up paper ball rolls across the floor.

"Now, I want to show you something before I become too depressed to move from this couch." Blake's arms wrap around my body and tug me into the air as he stands up. He places me on the ground, then takes my hand and leads me to the back door.

We walk onto the decking and Blake flicks a switch on. The dimming light from the late afternoon is dull enough that the twinkling lights shine through the green plants they're bound to.

"Is this what you were talking about?" I smile.

"Yes." He nods. "I thought this would be amazing. We could get an outdoor table and have dinner."

I walk off the decking and onto the grass to get a better view of the garden. Blake moves to stand beside me and grabs my hand. He weaves his fingers in-between mine and squeezes tightly.

"There's a few good spots in the garden that will be great for Logan and Ivan's plants," Blake explains. "If we put it across the fence, we'll be able to see them from the lounge room any time of the day. I'll add the twinkly lights as well."

"That sounds really good, Blake." I sniffle. "It's perfect."

"I've also really wanted to do this . . ." Blake awkwardly tries to spin me around, and tugs me to his chest. I fall into his arms and rest my head on his chest.

"Dance?" I ask. "I might step on you toes."

"That's why I'm still wearing my work boots." He chuckles.

Blake kisses the top of my head. I wrap one arm around his waist, and hold his hand with as we mindlessly step from side to side at the beat of our own rhythm. It's nice to move to our own rhythm without the confines of dancing to our own beat.

"Do you like the house?" he nervously asks.

"I think this house is perfect," I reply. "I don't think we could find a better house to live in."

"Does that mean." He bites his lip. "We have a spare room now."

His words make my stomach sink. It feels like everyone in the world wants me to have a baby but me. It's easy with London because even though people think of me as her mother, I'm not. When I held Ivan in my arms for the first time, I was terrified about everything. I don't know if I can tackle having another child.

There's the option with the spare room, so the idea isn't ruled out. Although, what I want and fate wants is two very different things.

"I've moved forwards with my life, but I haven't found something extraordinary either. Maybe I'll travel somewhere?" I say.

"What about London?" he asks.

"You can look after her," I reply.

"But what about your plans to travel the world?"

"Exactly, my plans." I chuckle. "Maybe I'll find myself a sexy French men for the summer?"

"Sure, if that's what you want." He nods. "But only if I get myself a Spanish chick for myself. I want someone to teach me traditional Spanish cuisine."

"If that's what will make you happy." I smile.

"Something else would make me happy but that requires assembling a bed."

"For cuddles?" I ask. "We can do that on the couch and you can even rub my aching back!" Blake's arms drop from around my waist as a pout crosses his face.

"Fine, I'll grab the television and install it." He huffs.

As Blake walks back inside the house, I take a moment to view the house and smile. Sometimes all you can do is smile.