The Mistake

Waves

I managed to snap out of my shocked state, grabbing hold of the pills Nick had left on the top of his drawer. I felt so ashamed in that moment as I walked down the stairs, I didn't notice Alex saying goodbye. Instead, I slammed the door and walked back home.

Nick knew about my pills. He would tell everyone. Maybe he thought I was a druggie, judging by how desperate he knew I was to find them. The embarrassment made my cheeks tingle, and that might have been the first time I ever blushed.

Nick had known all along. He knew what I was looking for, and he just played me. What was even more pathetic and degrading was that he pretended to go along with it, with each lie. I felt so angry at him, but mostly at myself. How could I have been so stupid?

I reached my front door and practically burst through the door. I threw my bag on my bed, but my pills were still in hand. Those stupid, stupid pills that ruined my life ever since the day got them. Those stupid pills that had so much control over my life. I hated them.

I wanted my friends back. I wanted my old school back where everything was okay and I was happy and without this feeling hanging over me all the time and where I could show my real face and not cower behind a mask because I knew I could trust people. I unwillingly handed my life over to my anxiety months ago, but now, I was desperate to have it back.

I threw my pills on my bed and lay down over the sheets, exhausted and worn down from the day. Maybe tomorrow wouldn't be as bad. That slight ray of hope was the only thing that kept me going. Maybe tomorrow would be better.

***

"So?"

"'So what?" I twirled the noodles around with my chopsticks, taking in the tasty smell.

Alex rolled his eyes and gave me a pointed look. "You know what I mean."

"Oh, right. Sophie." I said her name in a sing-songy voice and nudged him with my elbow. "You're not going to like this, but she said she hates football."

"What? No way."

I nodded. "Yes, way. When I mentioned going to a game sometime, she said there was no way she was going."

Alex sighed and lounged back on the sofa. "Alright... and?"

"And what?"

"Well, she has to like something. Golf? Bowling? Soccer? Because lucky for her, I'm good at all those."

"She did mention one thing..." I said, and he raised his eyebrows, waiting for an answer. "Boxing." He groaned and ran his hands through his hair.

"Seriously? Out of so many things, she likes to watch dudes punch each other? You should just tell her to hook up with my brother instead." He rolled his eyes playfully.

"Hey, it's not so bad. Just take her to a boxing match with you or something. Or, you know, a normal date."

"You mean like the ones Nick fights at?" He stated casually, taking another bite of the noodles of his takeout box. "And I want to get to know her better before taking her on a real date."

"You... know about that?" I said, ignoring his last sentence.

He gave me a knowing look. "Sam, most of the seniors know. You think his stepbrother wouldn't?"