Surviving Cancer

Monday, November 20

MACI POV

I climbed out of the car, pulling my jacket closer to me in a vain attempt to block out the cold.  Levi swung his backpack over his shoulder before grabbing mine out of the backseat. 

"Hang on I just gotta grab your tank." He called, disappearing around the back of the SUV.

"Just leave it.  I'll be fine." I said.

I was still trying to deny that I needed it. I had relented to using the one at home majority of the time anyway.
I had asked him to double check that there was a travel tank in the car this morning before we left for school though.  Call it what you want but I was clinging to some sort of normalcy like a leech. 

"Are you sure?" He asked.

I nodded my head, "Yeah and if I change my mind it's just in the car."

He hesitated a second, I knew he was battling over whether to push it or not.  But I had a point.  If we walked ten feet and I wanted it, it was only ten feet back to the car.  At least it was within walking distance.  He stuffed the keys in his pocket and linked his arm with mine as we started toward the school entrance.

"So you've been pretty quiet about it, how is everything?  With you and Emma?" I asked.

I watched a smile creep onto his face, "You were right."

"About?"

"She loves me."  He glanced down at me as we walked, he looked like a love sick little puppy. "I told her I loved her first."

"Wow.  The big L word."  I said, poking him in the side. 

I could feel my chest tighten with every step we took.  The air outside wasn't helping either.  It was bitter cold in the mornings and even if my lungs weren't already compromised, I'm sure they'd have had trouble processing the air.  People weren't supposed to breath ice. I focused on deep breaths as I continued to walk.

"Yeah I know.  It's crazy.  I mean it's not like everything is perfect.  But it's pretty cool." Levi said.

"What about Greg and Jackie?" I continued. 

Jackie had been basically MIA since school Friday.  She had been fuming the rest of the day at school and had only texted me once over the weekend. I had gathered from the bits of coherent words during her rants that Emma had told her a slightly different variation than what Levi told me.  I kept my mouth shut.  I didn't want to stir the pot anymore that it had already been aggressively stirred.  I was hoping to be able to be there for Levi, keep Jackie as my best friend, keep Greg as a good friend, and have all of us still tolerate being in a room together, at some point.  I just wanted to be Switzerland. 

"I'm taking your advice and Emma's.  I'm just keeping my mouth shut and my head down for a while." He said.  "Besides I think if I try to talk to Greg again he's going to stop being rational and punch my lights out." 

I whinced, "That bad huh?"

He let out a breath, nodding his head.  "Yeah that bad."

We reached the doors to the school, Levi held them open.  A burst of warm air rushed over us, sending a chill running across my skin.  My chest was tight and I had slowed my pace to almost a crawl.  Maybe I did need the stupid tank.  I spotted the benches just inside the next set of doors and angled myself toward them bumping into Levi as I did.  He stumbled clumsily next to me trying to figure out where I was going and why I was pushing him off his normal route. 

"Are you okay?" He asked, quickly catching on.

"I just need to sit." I held up a hand to stop him from talking as I plopped down on the wooden bench.  "Will you go get the..."