Surviving Cancer

Thursday, October 19 Cont'd & Friday, October 20

MACI POV

My stomach was twisting and turning as I sat against the wall in my bathroom. I had made it home and to my bed after my mom picked up the rest of her groceries. Shortly after climbing into bed though, I felt the muscles in my stomach clench, which sent me flying to the bathroom. I leaned my head back against the wall, waiting for a second round. I knew it would come.

"Maci?" I heard Levi call from my bedroom.

"Yeah?" I croaked out, my throat raw already from the acid in my stomach.

"You okay?" He asked as he came into the bathroom. I nodded my head, crossing my legs in front of me. "Did you already puke?"

"Yeah." Levi slide down the wall, sitting next to me.

We sat in silence, my eyelids getting heavier the longer I sat there.

"Why didn't you tell me you had a bucket list?" Levi asked.

It wasn't my stomach this time that clenched it was my heart. I knew I probably hurt Levi by not telling him and the only way he could have found out was through Jackie. I shrugged my shoulders, unsure of what to say.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. What's on it?" He asked, even though I knew he probably wasn't okay that I told Jackie and not him.

"Stuff I want to do before...well you know just in case." I said, avoiding the D word.

He nodded his head, "But like what?"

"I want to go back to Florida, see the Grand Canyon, get accepted into college, play in front of an audience. Stuff like that." I said.

I purposely left out our real mom. It's not that I didn't want to tell Levi. It was more of I didn't want him to tell me it would never happen. I knew it was a long shot. Heck I didn't even know her name. But I wanted to see her just once. I wasn't sure Levi would ever understand. I had thought about asking my dad but even he wasn't too fond to talk about her, which is why I only knew her name was Jenny. The only person that seemed to understand my curiosity was Tracy.

"Do you feel sick still?" Levi asked after a few minutes.

I shook my head no. I still wasn't feeling great but at least my stomach wasn't having world war three inside it. "I'm a little thirsty though."

"I'll grab you some water, want anything to eat?" He asked, hopping up from the ground like it was a piece of cake.

He held his hand out for me, pulling me up in one swift motion. "Maybe toast or a smoothie. Something easy."

Levi wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. My face was buried in his chest, his Armani cologne filling my nose.

"Alright, I'll be right back." He said, releasing me a moment later. "Want to watch some movies?"

"Yeah." I smiled. He knew I wouldn't be awake for a movie and I loved him for the fact that he didn't care.

Levi went downstairs to grab us some water and food. I grabbed my toothbrush, scrubbing my teeth as I looked in the mirror. The chemo always got me a day or two after treatment, even with the anti nausea medicine. I knew it, like clockwork. But I still always hoped that maybe it would be different 'this time'.

I wiped my face and crawled back into bed. I hunkered down under my covers, staring at the door as I waited for Levi to come back. I had to talk to Jared soon. I had to make him understand. He'd come around, he had to.