The Dark Side of the Moon

Chapter 26-Dread

The next morning we left London to return to Moonacre Valley. To De Noir castle. I had been optimistic in my thoughts prior but as the carriage drew nearer to my new home I became enveloped in a sense of dread.

As difficult enough as the task at which I have given myself of pretending with Catcher was, I somehow neglected to foresee the even more difficult task of doing so in front of Robin. The thought was sickening. I tried hopelessly to convince myself that surely twasn't often that Robin and I saw each other in the castle. The other De Noirs as I referred to Robin's uncle, aunt and cousins resided in a separate wing of the castle and it was true that we only converged mostly during meal times.

I can do this. I told myself as my mind invented the possibilities. Awkward evenings around the dining table. Making eye contact with Robin whilst Catcher's arms were around me. Claiming me. A constant reminder to Robin that at night I lay with Catcher.

I can do this. I urged myself once more. Pushing the thoughts from my mind. It's almost over isn't it? For surely Robin must be the key? I wished. I hoped. He was my only hope. Robin would know what do. Robin could handle his cousin. Perhaps even Robin's father could be convinced of this treachery. For surely he would demand his title be returned. We could all devise a plan together. I thought. For surely I couldn't do this on my own.

In the far distance the tall and dark stones that made up the castle towers came into view as did the familiar red flags that boasted the family crest. My stomach was knotted in a fit of nerves--A mixture of hope, shame and dread. I tried to focus on the hope. The sun was setting beyond the castle. Setting it aglow. It was beautiful despite the lies that loomed within.

Mr. Bagsley greeted us along with a footman. He informed us with a jolly grin that we arrived at the most opportune time for the evening meal was about to be served. Catcher looked quite pleased. But I hesitated. I knew Catcher and I would be quite the spectacle tonight. Having just been wed and then on holiday in London for a few days. I was quite sure I did not want the attention.

Catcher gave me a look of impatience at my hesitation as I stood rooted in place on the stone steps outside the castle. "Maria, what ever has gotten into you? It's as if I am trying to lead a stubborn horse."

I looked down at his hand in mine, our arms were outstretched because I had stopped where he had continued. He pulled at my hand coaxing me to take a step. I did, not wanting to make a scene. We entered into the parlour and the familiar smell of the castle enveloped me--of damp stone, fire smoke and pine. The smell invoked deeper memories-Of my life as Robin's wife. And my heart yearned for that life again.

"Catcher, I'd much prefer to retire for the evening." I blurted out. Digging my heels into the floor again once we reached the corridor that led to the dining hall. Laughter and chatter and the clinking of glasses and silverware echoed out into the corridor. I couldn't do it. I can't see him. Not yet.

Catcher appraised me a moment. He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, squeezing shut his eyes and sighing. We were both tired. Tired from the long journey. Tired from being cramped within the small confines of the carriage as it bumped and jostled us about for the better part of the day. And hungry. We hadn't but some bread and cheese since breakfast.

"And I'd much prefer to have you by side tonight. And every night thereafter. That's were you belong. Understood?" Catcher replied firmly. He gripped my hand more tightly and pulled me along with him down the corridor. I knew not to protest. And as much as he angered me, I put my head down and obeyed.

The footman, Thomas, I believe his name to be had been standing at the door awkwardly, pretending not to listen, he pushed opened the double doors for us. In which I groaned inwardly, a grand entrance I did not want. He made eye contact with me as I passed through the doorway, but quickly and respectfully he jerked his head down, letting his gaze fall to his feet. I glanced back over my shoulder at him after we entered into the dining hall to find that he was looking at me out of the corner of his eye. I furrowed my brow at him. Did he know something? Was he trying to tell me something? Or perhaps he was just concerned for he overheard the way Catcher had spoke to me in the corridor.