Clexa - Life Should Be About More Than Just Surviving

Chapter Thirty-Six

Clarkes POV-

"Votes are in" Kane says with a smile. "Looks like we are forming an alliance with the commander"

It had been a week since my meeting with Lexa and news like this meant that i have to go see her again. I pack some things because i had been given word that Lexa had moved back to Polis. To declare the alliance i go to where the grounders have been locked up and i walk in. "The chancellor has been overthrown, you are all free to go, now i will be escorting all one hundred of you to Polis to declare my allegiance with the commander and to show i want peace"

"You are the chancellor?" One of them asks.

"Yes"

*

After answering some of their questions i make my way back to my room where Finn is leaning against the door. "Can we talk?" He asks. I nod and unlock the door, letting us both in.

"Why is this allegiance so important to you?" He asks. I sigh because i already know that this is going to be a long and frustrating conversation. "Is it Lexa?"

"Yes" I say flatly. "It is because of Lexa, she is the only person that has the power to command her people to help defeat mount weather. Her people are trapped too." I sit down on my bed and take my shoes off. I need to get a reasonable amount of sleep before leaving for Polis in the morning.

"Is that all? I don't believe that. I think that you still have feelings for her" Finn says frankly. He kneels down infront of me. "Be honest with me Clarke, do you love me?"

"Yes" I reply truthfuly. I do love him, he has been there for me for years. I bring his face into my hands and push a piece of hair away from his face. "I love you Finn, I was with Lexa once and that was great but this alligance does not stop me from loving you" I say looking him in the eye. He pulls away from me.

"Do you have feelings for Lexa?" He asks. Why is he doing this? Why can't he just except what i have told him? Does he want me  to break his heart? I'm about to answer him when he stops me. "Please don't lie to me"

Suddenly i remember reading Lexa's letter. I remember trying to escape that night to go see her but i was caught by the guards. I remember lying in my bed crying with the letter scrunched up in one hand. If only my mother hadn't been a fool. I remember drawing Lexa in my notebook and writing small messages on the back, things that i wanted to say to her or ask her. I remember her kissing  me for the first time, her lips where soft and perfect. I had missed her for five years. I had worn the bracelet because i knew deep down it was a promise to her that if we were meant to be then we would meet again and we had. Oh god, I miss her right now. "Yes" i say softly.

"Of course, i saw this coming" Finn says sadly. "I was just a distraction"

"No, you weren't. I love you Finn. I really do." I say.

"There is nothing you can say to fix this Clarke. We are over." He says sadly. Before he leaves i stop him.

"I never wanted to hurt you" I say softly. He nods and kisses my cheek.

"I know"