Unhuman ≫ h.s.

30

[ C h a p t e r 30]

I woke up trying to catch my breath. I patted the bed around me, no one. No one was lying next to me, no one to comfort me, no Harry. I looked around and it was dark but not entirely. I guess it was early in the morning I glanced at the clock sitting on the table, 5:08. I rubbed my face. I took a deep breath trying to calm down from my terrible dream.

I hugged my knees to my chest. I dreamt that I was in a cemetery by my mother's grave. I tried telling her how much I've missed her and she rose from her grave, she looked horrifying. She told me that I failed her and she started to drag me into the ground with her. I tried telling her I was sorry that I just needed more time. She just kept repeating the same word over and over.

The word drilled into my brain, Failure. I always thought I had been, and I know that I am. In some ways. I've failed my father, my family name. My mother said she was pleased with me when I had conversations with her in all my dreams. So why did I dream this? I shook my head refusing to think about it anymore. I had other things more important than a silly dream, like Harry.

I got out of bed and stumbled down the stairs. I looked around and I couldn't find him. I squinted my eyes trying to focus on the ground. I called his name, it falling so effortlessly off my lips. Again and again I chanted his name, and no response. I ran through the dining room, no Harry. Through the kitchen,living room, every room, and no Harry. I walked to the living room and sank down into the couch. He probably took a walk for some fresh air, I do it all the time.

I slowly rose and walked into the kitchen. I went to grab a fruit instead I knocked off a vase. I was so tired, my reflexes weren't fast enough to catch it. It shattered around my feet. The pieces sliding off the stone floor. I felt bad that vase probably cost more than my whole entire collection of art I've made. A ringing echoed throughout the house.

"Stop your going to hurt yourself" he said his voice doing circles around me.

I couldn't locate him, I was tired and I just couldn't focus. I lifted my leg to take a step when his voice spoke again. I snapped my head to the living room, that's where he is, I'm positive. I didn't care about glass. I just needed to see him. I ran ignoring the pain in my feet. After three seconds it was to much and I stopped just short of the living room.

I panned the room, darkness. I focused my eyes and I saw him in the chair across the room from me. He was sitting in the corner, I went to take another step when my legs gave out. I fell forward, his arms were around me before my knees even hit the floor. He scooped me up and led me into the kitchen. He sat me on the counter and turned on the light.

He walked around the room gathering things. When he returned he knelt on the ground and started taking the glass out of my foot. I whimpered trying to conceal my pain. He sighed before looking at me.

"I...I told you to stop, I knew you were going to hurt yourself." he said taking another piece out.

I hissed, scrunching my eyes shut. I opened them and looked at his face. He looked angry and apologetic. He looked like he didn't know what he was supposed to feel. I didn't know either.

"I'm sorry Natalie but I have to, if I don't it could get infected. I wouldn't have to be doing this if you would've just listened" he said scolding me like a child.

"I just wanted to be near you, I wouldn't have done that if you would've just answered me, or would've been there when I waked up. This isn't all my fault,v but I'm sorry I didn't listen." I replied softly, defending myself.

"Well I needed some time alone. I still do." he said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I said quietly my voice cracking.

"Just let me clean your feet up and we'll talk, yeah?" he said.

I nodded, patiently I waited for him to finish. I wanted him to and then again I didn't. What if this wasn't something I wanted to hear. I don't know...

"All done."he said.

He picked me up and carried me into the living room and set me on the couch. He turned on a light and sat down on the couch next to me. He looked down for a moment then at me. He looked confused, he opened his mouth to speak but I didn't let him.

"So, what's up then...what do you mean by time alone." I asked.

"Natalie its, it's complicated. I want to make you happy, I want to make you so unbelievably happy, and from my understanding your happiness is...being with me, correct?" he said.

I nodded.

"That's the issue, I don't know if I'll be able to control myself around you. I don't want to hurt you, its getting harder and harder to stay away." he said quietly.

"Then don't." I said reaching for his hand.

He pulled away before I could get to him. He kept avoiding my touch and I wanted a better a reason, "am I not good enough?" I asked.

"You are perfect." he said grabbing my face.

"You said I was perfect, I think that's the first time you lied to me." I spoke quietly.

"You don't understand, I wanted you, as I watched you sleep. I wanted every part of you." he said starting to shake.

"Its okay I want you." I said.

"No you don't get it do you? I wanted you but I didn't care if you were awake, or sleeping, I just wanted you for myself. I didn't care if I hurt you, because there's a small part of me that wanted to. I wanted you to be in pain and I just wanted pleasure. I wanted to do awful things to you. I was only worried about me...and I don't know how to control that. I just get in this mindset where I do things I'm not proud of. I've hurt people before, and I've hurt girl's not on purpose. Never on purpose. I'm not a good man, I'm, I'm dangerous and I would never forgive myself if I did anything to hurt you." he said loud enough for me to hear.

"Well unfortunately for you, I'm not going anywhere. Your all I have, please don't push me away. We were just getting somewhere, we were making progress, your not a monster, you just need help, and I'm willing to help you." I said crawling over to him.

He kissed my forehead.

"I don't understand you, you should be afraid, you should be wanting me to leave, why do you want me so much." he said caressing my face.

"I just need you, after everything we've been through,we have a connection, and I need you in my life. I'm only afraid your going to leave me. Do you still want to be more than friends right. I don't think I can be anything less with you." I admitted.

"Yes I told you I've wanted you. I just get scared sometimes, you're crazy for staying with me." he said smiling.

"No, I'd be crazy for even considering to leave you." I replied kissing him on the lips.

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Haha, sorry if I maybe gave you a heartattack but..

merp they still together. I really didn't know what to write about. What do you guys want more of? Any comments, things you'd like. Please do tell me love to hear from ya'll okay bye!!!!! Comment and vote and comment. but really comment:D or else Ill be D;

Twitter- QueenOzzie