LOVE BLOSSOMS(COMPLETED)

10. My First Official Day

                                                                                  10

                                                              MY FIRST OFFICIAL DAY

Dedicated to Latika02 for her being the first commenter. Enjoy!!

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Sid's P.O.V.:-

She.... doesn't...... love me???  Maybe she doesn't even  like me either. No, no, no, no, maybe she liked me before.. before I revealed the truth. No, not that way. It must be before I hid and then revealed. 

Would it have been better if I hadn't hid the truth at all?

Maybe, if I had told her truth then, would she had stayed with me then?

But just as she stated, she just staying because she has no choice. Would it have been better if I just let her go?

Maybe that way I wouldn't have made her more troubled and vulnerable.

It has been past an hour that I'm reeling and squeezing in my bed with all the above thoughts pestering my mind and making me to roll over again and again while my pretty wife gives out her cute pretty snore. Who said she's flawless eventhough she acts as one? But why does looking at her flaws makes me believe that she is being more human than robot. The search for perfection and the struggle that she undergoes to reach them is just making my heart pain. She's cute with all those scars that run beneath her skin far deep to her heart, her fear to fall in love and to get hurt, aimbition to make our country back to shape and glory that we had centuries back before we got eroded that gets her critized by people as a stunt to gain popularity and in thruth it's not, learning every new things just to make her a better individual and writer, secretly scrutinizing her talent by comparing it with people whop seem to be far better than her and ultimately her trust issuses.  Why doesn't she understand that everyone's imperfect? Imperfection is perfect sign of being human. Wasn't she the one who quoted it in her first book? She just says it but never believes them. Even if she does believe it, she maybe be unknowingly doing the opposite. She is just killing herself, her individuality, orginality by stuffing her brain with all those methods, convictions and information. She is just a person born to break those rules and conviction and not to follow them. Why doesn't she understand this even?

She feels, believes and happily tells everyone that she is a complicated charcater. To be frank, I find her the most simplest character that I have ever met in this whole world. She talks a lot but reveals the least about herself to others. She loves to remain an unstoppable mystery to all who meets her. But she isn't a mystery to those with super observant eyes or those who takes the effort to look at the subtle hints that she gives away. I confess I'm more of the latter as I lack those observant eyes instead. 

The way she behaved with all as though she was afloat in love and hapiness with me when in reality she wasn't even happy or in love. She was doing all this to keep the people she loved and respected just be happy. This means that she has been a person with dual facade. A person who smiles when she is in pain deep inside her heart. 

I suspect that she has gotten so used to this that now she never even knows that she is doing it much naturally. This is maybe her method of distracting the pain from all the scars that she might have had till date. 

She sleeps in surreal, peaceful sleep with her lips slightly parted that gives her face a touch of innocence that she tries her best to keep away from her face during the broad daylight. I would've stared at her face for what I definitely have lost count of. Unlike my past hour of troubled chat with my conscience, I feel calm while I am staring straight at her face, balancing my whole body on my left hand to turn and watch at her that is placed on the bed below me.