LOVE BLOSSOMS(COMPLETED)

19. When Reality Hits You On Face

                                                               Lavanya Rajendran, this chapter is dedicated to you. You know, I was never brave enough to show this work to the people who knew me in person. The feeling that this is too amateur and you might judge me through it. But thanks, for accepting me as well as my works as well. They say you need to find a language parent, but thanks for being not just a language parent ( She is teaching me, Kannada and Telugu along with another one of my friend, Priyanka), but also a partner in sewing class, story-gushing and discussion heavy topics like we generally do. Thanks for your acceptance, love and friend and yeah you too Priya. We really form a great team and thanks for being such partners. ( Oh, by the way, sorry for making a public note on you, I hope it's okay with you, If not there's always an erase button, you know?)

                                               19.  When reality hits you on Face

Ria’s P.O.V.:-

  The fan’s motion has always enticed me. My ever hyper-imaginative brain, was functioning and imagining the fan as a girl. Fan has three wings, so the centre is the head, when the side two blade becomes the ponytail and the center blade it’s body. Now that the fan is circling at the high speed all the blades are moving super fast. Round. Round. Round. Yet, it’s calming, isn’t it? It’s truly a wonder that I’m able to see the blades of fan and it’s motion in the pitch dark bedroom of ours.  

  It was the night after the brunch we had at Seema’s house and I’m presently lying flat, motionless on the bed that I share with Sid, with Sid pinning a possessive arm around me. Even though, I’m generally a restless sleeper, I’m controlling my movements for Sid’s a very sensitive, light sleeper, much light sleeper than my mom. A single movement of mine would send him havoc, and make him ask questions as,’ Why aren’t you asleep?’, as such.

   With my body limp and motionless and my mind travelling to thoughts and places that it isn’t supposed to, I only know a single sure thing in my life-, “ My mind is utterly, thoroughly disturbed.”

   I know that today, Seema had specifically arranged this brunch, so that I, Sid and she can discuss and come in terms with the reality. But you know what, I’m ready to accept this fact that I’m not ready to face her, yet. To talk with her and clear things. The betrayal is still fresh and alive in my mind. The man who is sleeping next to me isn’t pure as I really imagined him to be. He has shamelessly accepted to me that he and Seema has slept together and just as I mentioned above, no matter how much I try to control my wild imagination, whenever I see them together I can only imagine them being together, naked mixed with sweat. I might sound perverted and weird now, but getting over the fact that they have a history together really hurts me. Just like Sid has explained me before, he had been dating Seema and they were serious thinking that they’d create a life together. But fate had his own rules and play. They broke up and as weirdly as it might seem two practical strangers, me and Sid have really created that life for which they two seemed to have been planning for years together. If I see, it from another angle it seems like I’m the elephant between them, eventhough their breakup has nothing related to me. It must Seema throwing a fit, but see here I am throwing one while they both console me. It seems unfair to me.

    Sid has once even broken down to me that he wasn’t a playboy but a genuinely frank man who wanted to marry the girl he dated. Yet, my point is that now everything seems to favour Sid to such an extent that I’m scared that I can no longer hold on to this fact that Sid had told me a lie. Every doctor I met till date has told me just one thing that I hold to my past and that’s the only problem to the disturbance in my mind. But today I’m sacred that Sid is giving me all the reasons to let go my past and hold on, embrace him as my future. You know what, I just used Sid’s frankness to my benefit. I just wasn’t ready for this marriage. I was too broken to repair. But Sid came along to repair me. I’m not sure if can repay him with the same amount of love he gives me. Atleast as a method of repaying his love, I need to have a proper talk with Seema. I need to relieve both of the guiltiness of the sins that they never did in the first place. I’d talk to Seema the first thing I meet her tomorrow.