can we be complete again ( sequel to can we learn to love again)

ch22

Ch22 Sweeney's POV

Me and toby wait for what seems like ages as i paced the kitchen floor. There's silence and the slight sound of toby sniffling in the booth. I can't lose her i can't not after everything we've been through. I walk to the cabinet and take out some gin i pour two glasses and walk over to toby setting it in front of him.

"Drink up boy" i say doing my best to sound fatherly toby gingerly sips at the alcohol wiping his watery eyes.

"Shell be alright son she's strong" i reassure him filling my glass once more this make the boy even more upset placing his head on the table as he sobs. I place a hand on his shoulder to comfort him.

"What if shes not shes the only one who ever cared for me.... I can't go back to the workhouse" he says between sobs i move and sit beside him pulling him to my chest. I feeling of tenderness strikes in my heart for the boy he's been so good to nellie and she really does love him.

"You won't be going back there son no matter what happens" i say remembering my promise to nellie. I won't break it. Plus i wouldn't send that boy back to that life of pain and hurt that no one his age should ever know.

"Really" he says looking up and me with big sad eyes and i nod i pour him more gin and he drinks it i ruffle his hair a bit and stand up and start to phase. It's still so quiet when suddenly there's a loud cry that sounds like a baby and i stop in my tracks. It continues for a moment when it stops the only sound that can be heard is mine and toby's ragged breathing. After twenty minutes or so the doctor comes out with a baby wrapped in a blanket his shirt and sleeve covered in blood.

"Your daughter" he says offering my the child. I take it carefully in my arms and look at her. She's so beautiful. She stays sleeping in my arms her tiny head covered in black curly locks. Blake hair like mine but curly and soft like her mother.

"And nellie" i ask. The doctor looks down and my heart jumps fearing the worst.

"It's difficult to say she's alive but only just, in some type of a coma" he starts and my eyes start ro water. She can't die. Leaving our child as the only memory of her.

"She may pull through i'll be buy to check on her and give you more directions. but keep her clean and hydrated in the meantime " he says the midwife comes a minute later and they leave.

"Nellie" i whisper walking into her room she's set peacefully on the bed as if she was merely sleeping. I lay me head next to her and i start to cry. She doesn't deserve this she deserves to be happy and healthy and live by the sea.

"Nell be strong i swear to you if you pull through this will move by the sea just like you always wanted please just wake up" i say looking at her ashen face. The sheets are still covered in blood so i start taking them off moving her seemingly lifeless body to the side and carefully take off the sheet. Placing a clean set on the bed with nellie still on it i place her head on the pillow gently. Looking at the bloody sheets, i don't know how she always managed to get the blood out of my close i decide to just throw them out. I get a glass of water for nellie the doctor said to keep her hydrated. I lift her head up and pour the water down. She makes no sound of movement. I stroke her soft hair just hoping for some sign of movement but there isn't any.

"Mr todd" toby calls from the doorway the holding my daughter in her arms.

"What... what did the doctor say sir" toby asks the baby start fusing in his arms and i take her from him and start to rock her.

"She's in a coma there's no knowing" i reply trying not to cry toby walk over to nellie and takes her hand in his. I look down at the baby and her beautiful face she has pale skin like me and nellie but she she has nellies warm brown eyes and pale pink lips.

"What should we name her" i say aloud it feels wrong to name her without nellie but she must have a name. Also i want to distract myself and toby from the sorrows of the world. I couldn't save johanna from the horrors of the world but i will de my best for this innocent child.

"Sir" toby says confused looking up at me i reach a hand out to him and usher him to the kitchen.

" a name she must have a name" i say to him he looks at the baby for a moment taking her in.

"I like the name annabell" he says hesitantly and i smile at him nodding my head a bit he maybe a little simple but hes a good kid.

"I like it annabell" i say and she smiles blinking her big eyes at me. She's so small because she was premature. She looks just like a little angle. I just hope she gets to know her mother. Toby smile at me and i give him a sad smile in return.

" how bout i make us something to eat then" i say and toby nods i serch the cabinets till i find some bread and cheese which will do for now i find some baby food that nellie most have bought or made to prepare for the baby and i start to feed her on my lap.

" sir.... What are we going to do if she doesn't wake up" toby asks and i look up at him studying his face. He's a young boy but through all the years of pain and worry he looks older than his years.

"She will wake up" i say standing abruptly i go to nellie's room where there's a small crib set up i kiss her head softly and set her down her eyes close and she falls asleep.

"I hope you know your mother annabelle, she loves you so much" i say wiping my watery eyes i take a glance at nellie's unmoving body before walking out letting them rest. What am i going to do if she doesn't wake up i don't know the first thing about being a father, she has to wake up she has to.