It's been a year since my wife died. I remember when the doctors told me she was dead. I was devastated and didn't know what to do. I am still angry about it and it hurts even more when everywhere I turn or look reminds me of her.
I miss her so much. No body can replace my Jenny. Mia is without a mother and I am without a wife, but I will make sure she grows up being the happiest child on earth.
I don't remember the last time I ate something healthy. I only eat pie. I always feel closer to her when I eat it.
"Danny eat something! Jennifer wouldn't like to see you like this. She wants the best for you. She died because..."
"Because I killed her. I'm the cause of her death. She just wanted to go there. If I hadn't and didn't call her and threaten her to come home, she would've still been here with me. With our daughter," I continue to blame myself.
"Don't blame yourself. Please eat something. Move on. It's been a year now!"
"Move on? How can I forget about my wife?"
"Nobody is asking you to forget her. I'm just asking you to move on. I'm not saying you should forget the memories you had together, Just don't live in them. Please."
"I can't move on, what if she returns? I can't cheat on her."
I have a feeling she'll return to me...into my arms, where she belongs.
I see her in my dreams, telling me to keep loving her. To keep holding her till she returns.
And that is exactly what I have been doing for a year. And I will do it until she returns.
"Do you even know Mia said her first word? Do you know now she hates maize?"
No, i don't. I have been a bad dad. I don't deserve her. I am a total loser. What if I lose her too?
Then keep her well! A voice screams into my head.
"Please do it for Mia. Yes Jenny will return. Did she tell you when? What if she goes back when she sees you in this shape?" Elvis jokes, trying to pull me from the floor. His face breaking into a smile.
I know what Elvis is trying to do here. It brought smiles on my lips too.
"Jerk!" I sigh, " I guess I have to move on. My daughter needs me and my companies need me too."
"That's my man! You don't know how much this means to us," I have been avoiding everyone and broke my phone because they wouldn't stop calling.
I nod my head. I sigh and close my eyes before saying goodbye to my love, even though there is this silly part of me that keeps telling me she'd show up, she'll walk through one of the heavy doors in the house and wrap her arms around me and tell me she's back.
"It's time to move on...with my daughter. Man, thank you for always coming and pursuing me to stop wallowing in this pain. I need to live from my daughter."
"What? What about your grandmother, mum and I?" He fakes a hurtful face and I laugh even more.
I walk into my wife's office. The place is still intact and it will remain so...until Mia grows up to know what to do with it.
I sit on her chair. Her office has always been the place to share a moment with her.
I can't stop thinking about her. She's always on mind. I just can't move on and pretend like nothing happened. But for the sake of my daughter, I will be that man in her life.
It's been a year since I had a successful heart plant. Wherever I had the new heart from, I still have no idea.
I hate so many things now and I have noticed how much I love so many stupid things.
When I was released from the hospital, it took me a week to love those around me. I felt like there is someone special waiting for me. People I have to meet.
I still do. And it is getting worse.
After my internship, I decide to work at A Jay publishing house. I don't know why, but my heart so much wants to be there.
I used to like so many things...but now I see them as stupid and the things I knew were stupid, are now OK to me.
It's like I have an internal battle within me...between my heart and mind. They always don't agree with each other.
"Chloe, have you eaten yet?"
"Me?" I question back.
"No, me! What is wrong with you? For one year I find you strange. We ask you something and you ask if we are referring to you," she complains, coming into my room.
Aigh it's been a year now. Stop complaining already.
"You've been reading books. Since when did you get interested in these things?"
"A year ago. Mum I'll eat when I'm done with this story. I promise."
My mum leaves my room. She nags so much. I giggle remembering when she decided I won't be working too much. Not that I like to work.
"You are still reading!"
"Mum, you left a minute ago. Fine...see, I'm going for my food. Thank you."
This woman. I love my freedom, she knows that!
"Why do you keep biting your nails? It seems so childish."
"OK, OK, I'm going to my room. Tomorrow you'll be going back right?"
"Yes. And I don't want to be at the wrong pages of my employers and employees."
Thanks for reading. Please those who can't continue the book, I'm sure you'll love my other books; you can check them out
So do you think Chloe can replace Jenny? Will Daniel move on?
NB: please stay safe and obey instructions.
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