I Used To Always Be The Rejection

Chapter 6

Dedicated to everyone who's lost someone they love.

Chapter 6

Ashlynn POV

Shay wrapped her weak arms around me, hugging me as tightly as she could.  "Ash," She whispered, "I thought you were dead,"

I softly stroked her hair as I closed my eyes, just letting the tears pour out, "You ran away so fast, Logan found me, he brought me to the hospital,"

Shay sobbed into my shoulder, "I'm so sorry, it was all my fault,"

I pulled back and firmly told Shay, "No, it wasn't your fault, I promise you, Shay, you can't blame yourself for something that you didn't even do,"

Shay searched my eyes before an emotion I couldn't place flashed over her face, "But you do," she whispered.

I dropped my arms from Shay and stared out the window in the room, small twinkling stars scattered over the dark blanket that covered us all.  "It was my fault," I finally said, my eyes pooling with tears as I relived the memory I had been trying to keep buried deep down inside of me.

 *Flashback*

"Come on, Stace, it'll be fun!" I pleaded, giving her my best puppy dog eyes.

"Yeah, Stace, please, it's her birthday!" Shay agreed, joining in on the puppy eyes.

Stace looked at us, obviously wanting to say 'no' and just walk away.  She argued, "But it's dangerous, you guys know that!"

I whined, "Come on!  Live a little, I promise, it'll be fun!"

Shay laughed, "Stace, you have to listen to the birthday girl,"

Stace hesitated, but I knew she was going to give in.  She finally deflated, "Fine, but if we get into trouble, I'm blaming it on you," 

I laughed and threw my arms tightly around Stace, giving her a tight squeeze as she laughed lightly, squeezing me back.  Shay joined in, the three of us laughing at the edge of the Dark Woods.  "BFFNMW!"  We chanted, laughing even more.  'Best Friends Forever NO MATTER WHAT!' We shouted one last time before running into the woods, tightly holding hands.

*Flashback End*

I closed my eyes to push down the tears.  After that, everything had gone wrong.  So terribly wrong.  I buried my face in my hands, "I was the one who convinced you both,"

Shay retorted, "No, I made that decision on my own, it really was Stacy who not only you, but both of us, convinced.

I sighed, knowing it was impossible to argue with Shay, she always had had that stubborn streak in her.  I smoothed Shay's hair back and looked at her, taking in her frail and bony hands that clung to me, her once shiny white blond hair now dull and oily, the usual beautiful glow around her body gone.

"Shay," I said gently, "How have you been?"

Shay looked away, her face etched with pain and sadness, "I can't take it anymore, everything just hurts so much,"

I sighed and sat on the bed next to Shay, using both of my hands to hold one of her frail ones.  I said, "Shay, do you remember when we were little kids?  How we used to pick flowers everyday in the meadow and laugh?"

Shay nodded, smiling a little bit, "I remember once, Xavier-"

I cut in sharply, "Yeah, let's not talk about that,"

Shay gave me a hurt look and I turned away, not knowing what to say.  An awkward silence rested between both of us, tension crackling between us in the air.  Of course Shay would want to about Xavier.  She loved him.  Pain hit my chest hard like a rock at just the thought of him.  It hurt.  It hurt so much.