I Used To Always Be The Rejection

Chapter 8

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Chapter 8

Ashlynn POV

I clutched my hand tightly to my chest, trying to breathe in and out deep and even breaths to calm my erratically beating heart.  I pushed away at the dots of blackness swarming over my eyes, making my head feel dizzy and lighter than it should be.  I closed my eyes, the horrible scene that usually filled my head once again scaring me to death.  

After a while, I finally calmed down and leaned back in my chair, gulping in large breaths of air.  I stood up, and looked around at the three people staring at me, their eyes wide and curious, a tidbit of fear in Derek and Paul's.  I took one last long breath before saying, "I'm going to go to bed now,"

And with that, I whipped around and flew up the stairs to my dark room, quietly shutting the door behind me.  I leaned against it, resting my head on it as I slowly slid down, curling up into a small ball.  I buried my head in my knees, blinking back traitorous tears and trying to keep my cool.  I.  Had.  To.  Calm.  Down.

After what seemed like hours, but really was minutes, I slowly got up and dropped down on the bed, slipping into the covers, not bothered about the clothes I was wearing.  I tucked myself tightly in, trying to comfort myself in the soft and warm cocoon of the blankets that surrounded me like walls.  But at the same time, those walls were crumbling and ready to go to peace.  They were ready to leave me alone.

I shook these thoughts out of my head, tightening the covers, enjoying how thick and plush they were, and how they fell softly against my skin.  I closed my eyes, starting to count sheep in my mind, slowly, very slowly, drifting into a darkness that overcame me...

Stacy POV

I slipped myself into my bed, which I had been so picky over, with the priceless silk sheets and soft fluffy pillows that just had to be perfectly perfect.  Now, it just felt uncomfortable as I tossed and turned, a loud silence in the room that had me frustratingly jumping out of my bed, and throwing open my door.

I flew down the stairs and into the kitchen, not even bothering to turn on the light as I angrily grabbed a cup and filled it up with water, smashing it to my mouth, letting the coolness of the water fill my whole mouth and throat.  I tried to relax my tense and stiff shoulders, but only resulted in tensing them even more.  I blew out a exasperated sigh, and sank down onto the cool kitchen floor, letting the coldness sink into me, hoping it would help me calm down.

It didn't.

Just as I was about to throw my glass of water on the ground, I heard the door to the pack house open.  I froze, and sniffed around, finding out that it was only Xavier.  At the thought of him, my heart sank even farther into despair.  Ever since Ashlynn left, he had been more heartbroken than anyone I had ever seen in my whole life.  I guess, in a way, I already figured out why.

Xavier and Ashlynn were mates.

Truth was, I didn't know what this cold and hollow empty feeling in my chest was when I thought of the fact that Xavier and Ashlynn were mates.  I mean, I thought I loved him, but these days, I wasn't so sure anymore.  I wasn't so sure of anything anymore. 

I guess, in a way, I always kind of knew.  The way that Xavier's emotions toward Ashlynn were always a billion times stronger.  The way that when we were little, Xavier used to pick these beautiful yellow daffodils from the meadow and shove them into Ashlynn's arms before running away.  The way that at old pack meets, Xavier would never complain about watching over little Shay since he'd get to be right next to Ashlynn.