Bound: Toxic Love (Book 2)

Chapter XII

Warning: Mature/explit content. Sit back y'all, and get yourselves some snacks, cause this will be a looooongg chapter :*

  P.S. The song somewhat fits..? I'm not sure, you guys will decide after you read this chapter.  It's just one of my top 5 rn..

Enjoy!

Not edited btw.

***

Lana's POV

I felt dizzy. Just the thought of what happened that night made me.. Weak. It was a tender moment that just couldn't seem to wait. Staring into his eyes made me feel like he was letting me read him for a few seconds before he kissed me. So quick and unfinished, it felt almost as if I was just able to take in a quick breath, and he pulled away, letting everything just stop. The breath cutting in my throat, the thoughts midway through my mind..

I felt like a little kid eager to have something that wasn't mine, and those whines and moans of complain almost escaped my lips when he pulled away. He started something that had me motionless, that brought pressure down my chest, faintness down my legs, tingles underneath my whole skin.. It was almost unreal. My mind went blank, and it seemed as if I had lost control over my own body. My instincts took over and I just wanted to get an answer. To see if the same thing would happen again.

It did. Not only the same, but stronger, more eager, as if every little sense of mine shook. Dear God, how it angered me.. I angered myself with what came through me, but how could I fight it? It was a moment of weakness, and I don't understand why he started it, but I was longing to finish it. I craved to feel the same thing he made me feel when he pressed his lips against mine for just a second, and like taking control over each atom of my body, I gave in. I gave it all..

A kiss so powerful that had my hands shaking after that, overwhelming me with emotions I didn't understand, and perhaps just wanted to shut down. It was just a simple movement of our lips, meaning nothing to both of us. It just meant shutting down this awful dark place that we called reality for only a few seconds, and letting myself go. It was a relief, a stone off my chest disappearing for some reason, and then having me lost in my own thoughts.

I walked inside, my legs barely able to keep me walking, but I managed to get up the stairs and in my room.. I left in silence with nothing else to say, because I didn't know what exactly.. I wasn't able to process what I did, and it was one of those times that your whole body would shake from some situation, and you would know it is damn wrong, but also feel angry with yourself that you couldn't regret it.

I sat on my bed for a few seconds, leaning on my elbows and covering half my face with my palms.. My sharp breath filled the room, and I couldn't get the picture of his eyes staring back at mine after the kiss.. He looked away then, so did I, and just left inside.. "God, Christian," I heard myself mumble, pushing my hair off my face, and closing my eyes for a few seconds..

The thing was, I didn't feel bad because I did what I did.. I just felt as if I had broken another one of my father's rules.. I felt as if I was betraying my whole family.. The fact that I loved it was what made me feel even more guilty. Even more lost. There was no one there to make me feel that way, to tell me how stupid and irresponsible it was, but I could hear my father's voice, his words, his disappointment..

It took a while, you know.. Processing it all. It's not like it meant anything to me, but growing up, I was taught to hate the ones that were the reason why ours didn't rule. I met vampires, fought them, killed them.. I met Christian, and.. I broke every vow that I met in just a few seconds.